My boyfriend is not supportive of my being pre-med

[Rafa]

Okay, a little bit of context here...

He and I are currently doing long-distance. He feels that he needs the summer with me because he's going crazy without seeing me. Um, not seeing him isn't on my top ten list of favorite things either. We see each other once a month though. I had planned a summer internship where I would be able to spend 7 weeks with him. He claims we need three months because he needs more time to confirm that he is "able to make sacrifices for me." I don't need that time for him, however. He asked me to take out a loan for summer classes next year and said he'd help me pay it off down the road. I told him that it would put me behind for the MCAT. He just thinks it's very easy to get a loan. Right, when his sibling is in community college and mine is attending an Ivy League school for undergrad, he forgets that there tends to be ahem, financial difficulties. My parents were even willing to help financially for me to take summer classes (I attend an out-of-state institution that hits us hard tuition-wise) and I just felt guilty.It's not fair to place that financial burden on them when I have other options. Also, my mom and he don't get along so he really can't visit. It sucks because I know that I am willing to move near him once undergrad is over. It's one goddamn year. Why is he balking on "making sacrifices" for me now?

In short, there is an underlying lack of support because of my complaining about the amount of work involved ("no passion") but it's not as if I'm totally blameless here either. This is driving a real rift between us. What do you think?

It seems as if your mind is pretty much made up already. Telling us this information probably isn't going to shift the general SDN consensus, seeing as we rallied behind you (and against him) nearly unanimously after your initial post. However, none of us can take action for you. If you want to break up with him/confront him over this, you'll have to do it offline.

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[cloverpie]

It seems as if your mind is pretty much made up already. Telling us this information probably isn't going to shift the general SDN consensus, seeing as we rallied behind you (and against him) nearly unanimously after your initial post. However, none of us can take action for you. If you want to break up with him/confront him over this, you'll have to do it offline.

Hehe. I am going to confront him after my exam this week. Such is the life of a pre-med.

 

[riceman04]

I know, you must be thinking "Ewwww."

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now. I recently got quite serious about going to medical school and even though I've entertained the idea in the past two years, he didn't really take me seriously because I wasn't taking it seriously either. He's always maintained that medical school isn't right for me because I don't enjoy every class I take or because I get frustrated at the long, hard road ahead with no guarantee. It's got to the point where he feels "insulted" that I am taking summer classes while he is in California because I should have listened to him! Should I be questioning my motivation or is he being wrongfully discouraging?

That mother father sounds like he is ready to control your life. That fool is jealous. Dont compromise your goals and dreams for anyone. If you do you will definitely regret it in the future.

Tell that punk to get a grip.

 

[captainbsm]

My ex did the same thing. While I was at Vanderbilt, I got a big chance to enter a MS Program in Chemistry at another university in the city. My ex gilrfriend decided to whine and complain about every concieveable thing imagined. Needless to say she is now kicking rocks along with an engagement ring lol...

Your boyfriend is a loser. He wants to prevent you from achieving more than him. If you have good grades, then go ahead and investigate medicine as a career. If you decide to do it, keep the career and drop the boyfriend. Then, no matter what you decide, consider dumping this loser anyway.

 

[Scalpellum]

Dr Trek 1, did you defer a year at LECOM or is class of 2011 just wishful thinking?

 

[saucy]

Wow, what's his deal? You need to have a talk with him. It sounds like he's jealous and/or insecure. That's his problem and not yours by the way...

~saucy

 

[Dr Trek 1]

Dr Trek 1, did you defer a year at LECOM or is class of 2011 just wishful thinking?

A little bit of both, lol

 

[MEG@COOL]

I know, you must be thinking "Ewwww."

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now. I recently got quite serious about going to medical school and even though I've entertained the idea in the past two years, he didn't really take me seriously because I wasn't taking it seriously either. He's always maintained that medical school isn't right for me because I don't enjoy every class I take or because I get frustrated at the long, hard road ahead with no guarantee. It's got to the point where he feels "insulted" that I am taking summer classes while he is in California because I should have listened to him! Should I be questioning my motivation or is he being wrongfully discouraging?

If you put out more hed be more supportive.

 

[nuwildcat07]

I wouldn't throw away a three year investment on a whim. You especially do not want to leave loose ends hanging when you go into med school. I know, I was there and had a relationship end my M1 year because things were open ended going in. To do well, you either need to be unattached or in a really strong relationship. All the relationships I know of that survived the 1st year either game in engaged/married, or ready to be at that point sometime in the m1 or m2 year.

 

[L8DYV]

HE HAS ISSUES AND MY BOYFRIEND IS JELOUS JUST LIKE YOURS.......... DUMP EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DrLizzie]

Dump him. That simple. If he can't be supportive in any way or you think that distance will only led to an unhappy relationship, well then you should just dump him. For anyone to make you question your own motivation is an indicator that you are not sure yourself what you want to do. If medicine is what you want to pursue, then no one (especially a boyfriend/girlfriend) should be able to sway your pursuits. In fact they should be your biggest supporter, so if he isn't that person for you.......again.......dump him!!!!!

 

[BaylorGuy]

HE HAS ISSUES AND MY BOYFRIEND IS JELOUS JUST LIKE YOURS.......... DUMP EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then why are you still with your jealous boyfriend??? I hope you meant ex-boyf

 

[SirTony76]

You guys are all jerks.

She did say that she wasn't serious about it for two years--did you ever think that when she changed her mind wanting to become serious about this career, that he hasn't realized that yet?!?!?

My girlfriend was in pre-dent for a while (she was convincing herself it was her dream) and I could tell she hated it. I helped her to change to elementary education which she now loves and thanks me for being supportive of helping gather up the courage to walk away from something she thought she loved.

 

[DelAGator]

Are you trying to find an excuse to dump your boyfriend or are you trying to justify leaving your dream to medical school?

I understand you not enjoying your classes, it is hard to understand the relevance sometimes of these classes to our future goal. Do you ever think of the the future, without discounting your difficulties in your class.

Find your motivation, don't bitch to your boyfriend. Don't allow him to be your excuse to fail. If you do, you're future relationship will be full of blame and regret.

 

[DelAGator]

I know, you must be thinking "Ewwww."

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now. I recently got quite serious about going to medical school and even though I've entertained the idea in the past two years, he didn't really take me seriously because I wasn't taking it seriously either. He's always maintained that medical school isn't right for me because I don't enjoy every class I take or because I get frustrated at the long, hard road ahead with no guarantee. It's got to the point where he feels "insulted" that I am taking summer classes while he is in California because I should have listened to him! Should I be questioning my motivation or is he being wrongfully discouraging?

You can date a future doctor once you are in medical school

 

[DelAGator]

I know, you must be thinking "Ewwww."

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now. I recently got quite serious about going to medical school and even though I've entertained the idea in the past two years, he didn't really take me seriously because I wasn't taking it seriously either. He's always maintained that medical school isn't right for me because I don't enjoy every class I take or because I get frustrated at the long, hard road ahead with no guarantee. It's got to the point where he feels "insulted" that I am taking summer classes while he is in California because I should have listened to him! Should I be questioning my motivation or is he being wrongfully discouraging?

Am I really the last one to respond to this thread???

 

[L8DYV]

Then why are you still with your jealous boyfriend??? I hope you meant ex-boyf

LOL................................I'm trying!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DelAGator]

I know, you must be thinking "Ewwww."

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now. I recently got quite serious about going to medical school and even though I've entertained the idea in the past two years, he didn't really take me seriously because I wasn't taking it seriously either. He's always maintained that medical school isn't right for me because I don't enjoy every class I take or because I get frustrated at the long, hard road ahead with no guarantee. It's got to the point where he feels "insulted" that I am taking summer classes while he is in California because I should have listened to him! Should I be questioning my motivation or is he being wrongfully discouraging?

If you give some up once in a while, he will stop whining about you not being in California. and yes he sounds jealous dump him.

btw are you cute?

 

[ofield23]

Does your boyfriend work for Shell Vacations Club, becuase I met a guy who was upset that his girlfriend was premed.

I know, you must be thinking "Ewwww."

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now. I recently got quite serious about going to medical school and even though I've entertained the idea in the past two years, he didn't really take me seriously because I wasn't taking it seriously either. He's always maintained that medical school isn't right for me because I don't enjoy every class I take or because I get frustrated at the long, hard road ahead with no guarantee. It's got to the point where he feels "insulted" that I am taking summer classes while he is in California because I should have listened to him! Should I be questioning my motivation or is he being wrongfully discouraging?

 

[Ms MD]

dump that doosh-bag

 

[lropp]

You should be very, very thankful. Within minutes of witnessing this thread, our very own Chuck Norris, M.D., prescribed ONE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE HEAD, prn (as needed) for whenever Controlling Boyfriend feels insulted.

I doubt your local Walgreens will be able to fill this prescription.

yeeeeeeeeees

 

[mchou]

Hehe. I am going to confront him after my exam this week. Such is the life of a pre-med.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I think long distance is very difficult, and it isn't fair for him to request that you take out a loan which he SAYS he'll help you pay off down the road but at the same time, he needs to figure out if you're WORTH making sacrifices for? That's hypocrisy if I know the definition of anything at all. If these statements were both made by him, doesn't that seem to say that even if you did take out a loan... he might not help you pay it off later since he could decide you aren't worth it?

I absolutely am not saying you aren't worth it. I think that when two people find that they truly and genuinely care for each other, they want what's best for each other meaning: he/she wants whatever will make the other person happy and are eager to make the sacrifices to ensure it. We're all worth it, in that sense. I have to go to med school far from my S.O. and I could have perhaps taken a school that I didn't like just to be closer, but the truth of the matter is... I wouldn't be as happy, and when we sat down to discuss it, we decided on what's best for both of our careers. We still want to have a future together and plan on it, but we both have to make the same sacrifices of not seeing each other for a while. Anyway, point is, you have to do what's best for yourself and your dreams. He has to do what's best for himself and if you're in a good relationship, you'll support each other through it. If not... well... it was a great learning experience?

 

[deuist]

What's going to change when you become a doctor? You definitely won't have tons of time for family then. Any relationship you get into has to be with the understanding that you two will rarely see each other. If your partner does not understand or accept your time commitment to your patients, then you should question how much that other person really wants to be in a relationship with you.

Fun fact of the day: Physicians have the highest divorce rate of any profession.