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Parents fight DO vs MD

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - DO' started by jcr_massage, Dec 21, 2005.

  1. jcr_massage

    jcr_massage BodyworkSweety
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    So this weekend my parents came up and visited me. While they were here I got a book in the mail about Osteopathic Schools. It was then that my mother decided to chime in. Her words "I guess I should tell you now because you seem to be serious about this, that I would prefer you go to a regular MD school." I said "Mom, we've talked about this and I have decided that DO is the best option for me" she said "yeah I know but I think that you will be disappointed and wish that you went to an MD school later on. I'm just trying to keep you from wishing that you had spent all that money somewhere else." So then I said; If I go MD then will you pay for it" Of course there was a resounding NO.......So I said "Exactly, if I have to pay for it, then I'm going to go somewhere that I will feel comfortable"

    So then my Dad chimes in. Mind you my father grew up in Kentucky and is a real "stick it to the man" kind of guy LOL , and he says with his typical fiesty southern accent "I don't want her to go to one of those schools where she comes out as one of those idiots who are always shoving pills down my throat and can't remember who the real god is"

    Ugggggggggggh! So you both don't get it, I replied. I've tried and tried to relate this to them in the past, no matter what, my Mom is just having a pride issue although she won't admit it........and well I really just don't think he gets it. Since I'm a masssage therapist, I think he thinks a DO is like a PHD in Massage LOL......How funny.

    Although I know it sounds comical; Any advice....... on tackling this newly sprouted feud.

    Blessings
    Bodyworksweety
     
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  3. dr.z

    Physician 10+ Year Member

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    Fortunately my parents don't care that I'm going DO route. Maybe you should give them literatures and books on profession for their Christmas. Maybe they'll eventually understand.
     
  4. USArmyDoc

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    They probably will never get it.
     
  5. Taus

    Taus .
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    I agree that some people will just never "get it" and you have to accept that. YOU are paying for your education and YOU know what kind of training and future you will have.

    If they don't want to hear it from your mouth you can try sending them some links in the frequently asked question section of SDN's osteopathic forums that explain what a DO is all about.
     
  6. JohnUC33

    JohnUC33 A Stinkin Conservative
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    I've been trying to explain the difference to my parents for years, but they just seem to not be able to grasp the difference. Unless I can ever get them off the prescription-writing maniac of an MD they see and go to a DO, they will probably never understand. This MD they see writes like 3-5 prescriptions for even the simple problems they have, and they are only like 50yrs old. I know this guy is a quack because he even put me on a prescription at one time that several other doctors said he should not have put me on (an MD and DO both). Oh, well, we shall keep trying...and only hope :(
     
  7. Beau Geste

    Beau Geste yah mo b there
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    Whoa there cowboy.... the actions of one MD does not explain the difference between the fields! Being trigger-happy with the prescriptions is indicative of what kind of person that doctor is, not that they hold an MD.

    To the OP - If they understand what a residency is all about, why don't you show them match lists for some DO schools so they see that DO or MD, you still can specialize in what you want at a great program. Sometimes parents want to see results that make sense. I don't know, though, when my parents can't "get it" or are flat out wrong, I just refuse to talk about something we've already been over and I'm not changing my mind about.

    Good luck with that!
     
  8. dcratamt

    dcratamt Senior Member
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    They might get it as you go through your education and they see what classes you are taking or what rotations your on in the third and fourth years. So what school are you looking into?
     
  9. Fermata

    Fermata Hold me.
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    At the end of the day you have to live with yourself.

    If that means telling your parents to butt out then so be it.

    I'm sure they'll be more than happy when they're old and you can take care of them as a DO.
     
  10. group_theory

    group_theory EX-TER-MIN-ATE!'
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    Forgive your parents :) - it's only natural that your parents want what's best for you and try to protect you from the unknown or making a bad decision in life.

    Now it's you who wants to enter the osteopathic profession, not your parents. So instead of explaining the differences between MD and DO, focus on the similarities instead.

    Emphasize that DO are doctors, just like MDs with almost exactly the same training. All 50 US States, and the US Military recognize DOs as the SAME as MDs. When asked "then what's the difference" say "well, we also learn some manual medicine/physical medicine in addition to what the MD students learn". Emphasize the similarities. Then show them a couple websites where there are DOs on staff (Mayo and Cleveland Clinic has tons of them).

    Don't go into residency matching (AOA/ACGME), the AOA Philosophy, holistic approach, MCAT/GPAs, etc. Ignore international work rules. Unless they really want to learn more about the profession, giving additional information about osteopathic medicine will only confuse them. They don't need to know that stuff.

    Just keep it simple. Reinforce the idea that you will be a full-fledge doctor in the end.

    Good luck.
     
  11. (nicedream)

    (nicedream) Fitter Happier
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    When trying to convice people that osteopathic school is for real, I would focus on the things that are the same as allopathic education, rather than the differences. In fact, I usually just say that it's the same when it comes to people like that. They generally understand a few things: DOs can do surgery and write prescriptions, DOs do the same residencies and often take the same licensing exams, and DOs make the same amount of money. THEN say that there are some historical/philosophical differences if you want, and that we spend more time learning anatomy. They usually start to get it then.
     
  12. jcr_massage

    jcr_massage BodyworkSweety
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    Well I live in Ohio so obviously OUCOM is a strong candidate, but me an my wandering eyes and endless need for more and more info, also has me looking into DMU and PCOM. I have to choose a school that has a major university at least within driving distance as my husband will be completing a PHD in Biology and Chemistry around the same time. He has chosen to teach us ambitious little pre-meds instead of being one of us LOL.

    Blessings Bodyworksweety
     
  13. jcr_massage

    jcr_massage BodyworkSweety
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    Thanks for the advice everyone. I will try the similar approach when the subject comes up over Christmas as I'm sure that it will. Perhaps I have been focusing too much on my perception of the differences and that has been what has my father thinking I was just continueing my massage education or something. At least my mother gets that it will also be a medical program, I think she just afraid that I will only be treating musculoskeletal injuries etc instead of treating diseas also.

    Blessings
    Bodyworksweety
     
  14. scpod

    Physician Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

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    Just do what you want to do, and remember that ten years from now when someone asks your parents what their daughter does for a living. They'll smile proudly, look them straight in the eye, and all they'll say is, "She's a doctor."
     
  15. robh

    robh Senior Member
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    Me: "Mom I've been admitted to medical school!"
    My mom: "At OHSU?"
    Me: "No at Arizona College of Osteopathic Medicine"
    Mom: "Oh...is that one of those......other schools?"
    Me: "What do you mean 'other schools'?"
    Mom: "Where they teach you about bones and stuff. That's not a real medical school right?"
    Me: "Yes it's a real medical school. I'll be a fully licensed physician when I graduate and finish residency. I'll just be a D.O. not and M.D."
    Mom: "Oh, so you wouldn't be a doctor then?"
    Me: "YES! I'll be a DOCTOR! The doctor I go to is a DO! He's great!"
    Mom: "They call him 'doctor'?"
    Me: "Yes they call him doctor! DO's are essentially the same as MD's, if anything they have more training. They can do ANYTHING an MD can do. The guy who did my sinus surgery was a DO not an MD!"
    Mom: "They let him do surgery? When will you hear from OHSU?"

    I am NOT making this up. I was adopted. No, REALLY I was... My advice: give up now!
     
  16. Lindyhopper

    Lindyhopper Senior Member
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    It's difficult, because most of us want our parents respect & support. Med school is a long difficult road. It's kind of unfair that instead of your parents pride you will probably have to enduring their lingering suspicions. Oh well, no one ever said life is fair.
     
  17. OddNath

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    Wow, congrats on your acceptance, and sorry about that really painful-sounding conversation!

    It's weird, but people in all sorts of degree programs get misunderstandings like that. As an MD/PhD student, I've even had people ask me if I'll be a "real doctor", or "just the research kind". It's just as stupid and I can pretty much laugh if off now. But yeah, people will always be hung up on something they don't understand..just be proud of yourselves, do your best of educate, and best of luck~
     
  18. (nicedream)

    (nicedream) Fitter Happier
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    No offense to anyone's parents, but it's typically those that do not have much background in higher education that have a lack of understanding of what all those letters mean. They have a rudimentary understanding of how higher education works, so what they know is that AA is comm coll, BA/BS is undergrad, MD is medical etc. In all honesty, you can't really expect them to know about the minority degrees and nuances of it all. A perfect example is the fact that my undergraduate degree is not a BA, but an AB - some schools simply call their bachelors degree this (including Harvard). If I tell people I have an AB they get all confused, and say "you dont have a bachelors??" It's their ignorance that's all.
     
  19. DropkickMurphy

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    Could be worse, I had a 20 minute debate with my mother as to WHY I was "screwing around" getting a bachelor's degree when I want to be a doctor (and I quote "Why don't you just go to medical school and get it over with?"). Of course my mother is grossly uneducated (she has a 10th grade education) so that is probably to blame for this debacle. Count yourself lucky..
     
  20. .edu-MD

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    Duplicate
     
  21. .edu-MD

    .edu-MD Senior Member
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  22. jcr_massage

    jcr_massage BodyworkSweety
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    Ouch, I must admit that is worse. Perhaps I will just try avoiding the conversation until I am a doctor and I can invite my Mom to come see me at work some day.......then perhaps she will get it. I think my Dad will always be oblivious, not because he's stupid......he's just very eccentric LOL, Despite the fact the had never went to college or continued education and some would consider him undereducated......he is a dreamer. The other day he called me and said that something in a science magazine had sparked an idea and he wanted to build a train to the moon LOL........I just laughed and said God Dad I love you......when he said can you help me.....I said well that's not really my branch of science Dad but try NASA LOL.....or at least your local University for a good physicist and engineer. That's what I mean though....he just gets lost in his little world and it has always made my world brighter.......WOW I am truly a Daddy's girl.

    Blessings
    Bodyworksweety
     
  23. ah1120

    ah1120 Member
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    My mom, who actually has a BA and is married to an MD, still doesn't think I'm applying to medical school. When I told her that the DO school I was applying to seemed really enthusiastic about my application, she said, "Well, they should be! You could have gone to medical school!"
    :laugh:
    All I could do was laugh and try, once again, to explain that DO school is medical school.
    --ah1120
     
  24. robh

    robh Senior Member
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    Probably not. ;) Seriously though, I've lived with this type of interaction with my mother long enough that it has become less a disappointment and more a source of amusement. As several posters pointed out, we all want our parents to be proud of us. That is the retrograde child in all of us. It is hard to move past this tendency but we must live our own lives. We are not ego extensions of our parents, as much as they might subconsciously view us that way.

    The reason I posted that crazy conversation with my mother is to assure you that you are not alone! As you correctly pointed out, you are the one paying the bills. You are also the one putting in all the effort to become a doctor, and you are the one who must live with the consequences of your decisions. Do what is right for you. I doubt you can change your parents' point of view. It's probably not worth the energy to try.

    Whatever you decide, DO or MD, you will have hundreds of patients who will invite you to be part of their lives, so that you can help them be healthy. To me at least, that is more than enough positive affirmation. I suspect as a LMT, you probably already know this and that knowledge, coupled with your experience as a massage therapist, is informing your decision to pursue OM. Sounds pretty damn rational to me... Blessings for your new career!
     
  25. (nicedream)

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    My AB is completely in Latin.
     
  26. JohnUC33

    JohnUC33 A Stinkin Conservative
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    No, don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that he is indicative of the whole allopathic profession. I personally know MD's who hardly ever give prescriptions, and I know DO's who do give quite a bit of prescriptions. I was just saying that this one doctor in particular is a prescription-happy idiot. I just think a lot of the conditions my parents have could be treated with natural causes (OMT, change in diet, etc.), and a DO would be more likely to employ those means. I wasn't bashing MD's except for this one doctor in particular.
     
  27. Beau Geste

    Beau Geste yah mo b there
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    Cool.
     
  28. MaloCCOM

    MaloCCOM Senior Member
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  29. Gmw1386

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    Yeah I often have the same issue with anyone that I tell that I want to be a DO. I'm at the point where I just say I want to go to med school. The End.

    When I do get into the differences I simply say the major difference between the two are treatment philosophies.
    MD = treat symptoms
    DO = treat cause

    and then explain that they each have the same education, (forget explaining OMT) rights, and privledges in the US. Overly simplistic, but I normally have lost them by this point.

    Sure it makes it may make it sound like DO's have a better approach, but I gotta give my "made up" field some edge.
     
  30. Taus

    Taus .
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    Malo, its winter break so I actually have time to read something besides class notes and textbooks.....your BLOG is awesome...well done...
     
  31. Flea girl

    Flea girl Senior Member
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    This reminds of the conversation my mother and I had when I was first accepted to a DO med school:
    Me: Mom I am going to a DO med school.
    Mom: Oh, you going to prescribe herbs?
    Me: No Mom, I will be a real doctor.
    Mom: you sure it is a real med school?
    Me: Mom, remember Dr. Black, your doctor? He is a DO.
    Mom: Oh yeah, he is a great doctor. So are you going to be able to prescribe real medicine or just herbs?

    Unfortunately, I am not adopted. But she finally came around and is now wondering when I can give her Botox injections :laugh: ! What can I say, you can pick alot of things in your life, except your family :D .
     
  32. docbill

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  33. Tallulah

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    I wish that was the case...my dad is a PHD and my mom is a pharmacist, and last week I had to listen to my parents recant what one of their MD friends told them about DOs...that they can't find real jobs and end up working in Spas?? Oh, and that DOs have no place in society and no one takes them seroiusly and when this MD's physician group is hiring doctors, they throw away DO applications. My mother, of course, didn't question the ignorance of the MD she was talking to. The best part is, the medical school that this MD went to has more than 25 DOs on their clinical faculty list. So yeah, having a higher education does not necessarily mean you are not prone to ignorance.
     
  34. MaloCCOM

    MaloCCOM Senior Member
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    Taus and Docbill,

    Thanks for the props. I really am having the time of my life. Everything is going very very well these days!
     
  35. cfdavid

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    malo, great blog bud. i'm glad to hear things are going well for you.
     
  36. Jamers

    Jamers Sexy Man
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    This is your life, live it as you see fit. Don't bother to "tackle" this feud, it will only get worse. People have and always will have their own opinions, very little will ever change that. You have made your decision, or you soon will, follow that path and make your own way. (Yes, I sound like a fortune cookie but what do you expect, I'm a psyc major) :laugh:
     
  37. Brett Hart

    Brett Hart Member
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    WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT DO THIS!!!!!!!!! THE FAQ SECTION ON SDN IS A COMPLETE JOKE AND IN NO WAY EVEN COMES CLOSE TO ATTEMPTING TO EXPLAIN WHAT A DO IS. IF THEY WANT TO KNOW...HAVE THEM TALK TO A DO. EVEN BETTER YET, HAVE THEM VISIT A DO AS A PATIENT AND THEN THEY WILL UNDERSTAND THAT BEING A DO JUST MEANS THAT YOU ARE A DOCTOR.

    AS FOR YOUR PARENTS...THERE COMES A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU MUST GROW UP AND GO YOUR OWN WAY.
     
  38. Brett Hart

    Brett Hart Member
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    last week I had to listen to my parents recant what one of their MD friends told them about DOs...that they can't find real jobs and end up working in Spas?? Oh, and that DOs have no place in society and no one takes them seroiusly and when this MD's physician group is hiring doctors, they throw away DO applications.


    SOUNDS TO INCREDIBLE TO BE BELIEVABLE
     
  39. Taus

    Taus .
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    Brett: thanks for letting me know that my OPINION, along w/ the very site that you are reading is full of terrible ideas....much appreciated....

    Anyway, do you really think the OP will easily be able to convince his parents to take time to go speak w/ a DO? (when they won't even begin to listen to what their child simply tells them about our profession)....doubful...

    IN MY OPINION....I think some of the links are excellent and can give the lay-person the basics of what the whole DO/MD thing is all about. Examples...

    http://www.studentdoctor.net/do/mdordo.asp
    http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos074.htm
    http://www.osteopathic.org/index.cfm?PageID=ado_whatis

    About what your parents MD friend said....you can just chalk that up to plain old ignorance and elitism...not much you can do about that sometimes...some people just are how they are and all you can do is basically laugh....
     
  40. Pewl

    Pewl The Dude Abides
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    I think it was Dr. Wilson, and not Dr. Foreman that said that, in your signature. =P
     
  41. DropkickMurphy

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    Oh, OK....thanks for the correction. I found the quote on someone else's signature on another website.
     
  42. QuantumMechanic

    QuantumMechanic Avatar=One of the Greats
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    isnt that an arrogant and gross oversimplification of the approaches to disease? By differentiating the way that these physicians look at treatment, you run the risk of placing one in a superior position to the other ("omg DO's must be the best since they will find the true cause" or "I'm going to an MD instead of a DO since they will give me a pill to cure high cholesterol rather than making me change my absurd diet") The fact of the matter is that MDs and DOs receive the same training (ok theres OMT...) and probably do the exact same thing in most situations.
     
  43. gerido

    gerido Senior Member
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    Moron
     
  44. QuantumMechanic

    QuantumMechanic Avatar=One of the Greats
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    stop yelling, my ears hurt :scared:
     
  45. Pewl

    Pewl The Dude Abides
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    You know what, I take that back. Dr. Foreman did say that, not Dr. Wilson. Woops! =)
     
  46. robh

    robh Senior Member
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    Update.

    I'm at Christmas dinner with my family. My mom is complaining about a cramping pain in her first rib-trapezius muscle area. I figured what the heck, I really don't know what I'm doing but I'm not going to hurt her so I did a little strain/counter strain on her and... no pain! She says in an amazed voice "where did you learn how to do that?" I say: "Oh you know, that DO I shadowed, the guy you didn't think was a real doctor, he taught me." It was a triumphant moment! :clap:
     
  47. Taus

    Taus .
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    the holidays are a great time to brush up on your "so whats a DO" speach....I'm getting quite good at that one....
     
  48. OSUdoc08

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    On the other hand, some people in my family thought I went to an MD school, and wanted to tell me about the DO they went to, asking if I considered becoming a DO.

    Pretty much everyone in my family sees DOs.
     
  49. dr.z

    Physician 10+ Year Member

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    That's great! :laugh:
     
  50. Taus

    Taus .
    Moderator 10+ Year Member

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    I had the same experience w/ my cousin (who is a DC)....I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't mean anything to me....bc it did feel kinda good for whatever reason...

    ps...I don't really mind giving "the schpiel" so often at all....especially to relatives/friends who are truly interested in what I'm doing even after they learn that we make the same $$ and can prescribe....just another opportunity to have an educated consumer....
     
  51. thirdunity

    thirdunity Senior Member
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    You never know.

    I told my mom I was thinking of DO (actually I think I could actually get into a DO school, but I also like what I see of the DO approach to medicine) and my mom beamed that a DO solved a problem for her once that no other doctor could solve. She still goes on about that every time I talk about anything DO.

    Then, I told my dad and he said, "That's like a chiropractor isn't it?"
     

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