Same here. I would be out protesting if it weren’t for corona.
Only posting on social media seems disingenuous to me. And I’m broke and in debt. So I’ve been watching documentaries and am planning on reading a bit to really understand things more.
You know where you can make the biggest difference? It’s actually just being an ally in your everyday life.
Step in when you encounter the offensive bigot. Yeah, that uncle at your cookout. You may think it’s a lost cause, and why cause a ruckus? You’re just going to make people uncomfortable and you’re going to piss people off. Even the stranger in public. Don’t let their **** slide. Yeah, it’ll cause them to turn red and yell and become even more deranged. But as a white person, that’s probably the worst that will happen to you. If someone doesn’t step in, and all the white people around them let these things slide, you’re complicit and legitimizing their overt racism. It is unsafe for POC to insert themselves here. And they’re tired of being exposed to it day in and day out. They need white allies to step up.
And even with the “good” people around you who would be horrified to wrong POC, probably including yourself, know they can be hurtful. When it happens, how you deal with the conversation is huge. There is a reason why POC just don’t bother even entering a lot of these conversations.
Think about all the discussions where race gets brought up, and what follows. When someone brings up that something someone said is racially insensitive or racist, what happens? Super predictable.
“Oh you know she didn’t mean it that way”
The person getting offended because they feel they’re being labeled racist “which they absolutely aren’t, how dare you accuse them with such a vile insult”
And then all the excuses and justification for why what was said wasn’t meant to be racist, etc...
And then this interrogation about why you think it’s racist, and what evidence do you have that there was racial motivation behind it.
It almost always ends up being about the white person, and never about the racist comment and how it’s racist and hurtful. And this progression of discourse is even more hurtful and frankly, exhausting. Just a mental note that “yup, these self proclaimed allies are really just in it for themselves. Do not engage in the future.” Think about it from the POC perspective. All they care about in that moment is that the person stops saying racist ****. They literally give two ****s about how much of a nonracist ally you think you are.
It should be an apology, then a resolve to learn and be better. The end.
Intent doesn’t matter. So don’t try to explain away. If you don’t get why what you said was hurtful, go and look it up. Ask another white person who gets it to explain it to you. You can politely ask POC in a nonaccusatory manner, but know it’s not their job to educate you.
Do that yourself. And if you see others falling into this trap, be the ally that takes over and explain it to the fragile white person. Even if they don’t get it. Take on that emotional labor.
Yup. It sure is harder than going to a protest or donating money, or posting on social media. But that’s what it means to be a true ally.
No clients have irritated me yet today but it’s still early
