To all you young future doctors: Will you be getting a prenupt?

[MedPR]

So what does that make them?

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[Lys Ile Glu Leu]

Blanket statements aside, I did know a chiropractor who worked as a peds office receptionist. I suppose we could call her an "Administrative Assistant". Common? Certainly not.

Back on topic. Wife and I have no pre-nup. Guess I'm screwed if the doodoo hits the fan. Kinda hoping to be on the glass-half-full side of the 50%.

 

[VisareAvGud]

Also getting back to topic, if I marry my current S/O with my impending debt it will be a very long time before I break even with her given her current career path, so a prenup would be pointless for me. Knowing that she's willing to share my debt assures me that money is the last thing on her mind. I guess you just have to pick the good ones

 

[touchpause13]

Question for the feminists- would you change your last name if your future husband had a really cool last name? Like Chalupa or Batman?

That's what I'm doing. My fiances last name is wayyy more cool than my fathers so that's what I'm going with. In my mind I'm carrying on a patriarchal tradition regardless so I may as well just pick the name I like better

For the record he knows I'm a feminist, he identifies as a feminist and didn't really give a damn whether or not I took his name

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[mehc012]

That's what I'm doing. My fiances last name is wayyy more cool than my fathers so that's what I'm going with. In my mind I'm carrying on a patriarchal tradition regardless so I may as well just pick the name I like better

For the record he knows I'm a feminist, he identifies as a feminist and didn't really give a damn whether or not I took his name

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Exactly...the name thing is really just an opportunity to pick the lesser of two evils! If my future SO has a cooler name than my current one, I'll go with it. But as-is...mine is perfect.

Besides, I guess I got over the whole 'name = family' thing a long time ago. My mother raised me, and I only knew her family, but I had my father's last name. I used to beg her to change mine to match, but it would have sounded ridiculous (think Richie Rich only more so) so she refused. After 22yrs of being told "you're such a (mom's surname)" whenever I procrastinated or in some other way acted like everyone else in the family, I guess it finally sunk in that your last name doesn't have jack to do with your family name.

 

[487806]

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Come at me bro.

 

[911 Turbo]

My fiance identifies as a feminist

This sounds pretty beta.

 

[MedPR]

This sounds pretty beta.

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[as1212559]

This sounds pretty beta.

Beat me to it. Repped.

 

[MedPR]

Come at me bro.

U mad?

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[113]

Lol so many baby miscers. Makes me confused/10 because my feels are both happy and scared.

Happy for lifting bros in med school. (Leg days, not even once)

Scared bc do not want broMD on 2 qts Craze preWO with shaky azz hands doing surgery in 2 mi radius of my body. No thank you Geoffrey beene.

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[as1212559]

Lol so many baby miscers. Makes me confused/10 because my feels are both happy and scared.

Happy for lifting bros in med school. (Leg days, not even once)

Scared bc do not want broMD on 2 qts Craze preWO with shaky azz hands doing surgery in 2 mi radius of my body. No thank you Geoffrey beene.

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Calm those seas skipper. Natty potential being realized over here, fancy supps not even once (inb4 do you even lift). Also no chicken legs.

 

[MedPR]

Lol so many baby miscers. Makes me confused/10 because my feels are both happy and scared.

Happy for lifting bros in med school. (Leg days, not even once)

Scared bc do not want broMD on 2 qts Craze preWO with shaky azz hands doing surgery in 2 mi radius of my body. No thank you Geoffrey beene.

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[113]

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You made a lot of good points. I completely agree.

Inb4 There's only a link to this thread on osteo form. Cool down.

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[MedPR]

You made a lot of good points. I completely agree.

Inb4 There's only a link to this thread on osteo form. Cool down.

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Stop trolling

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[Tommyguns89]

A lot of prenups get thrown out anyway. Honestly I wouldnt bank on one saving your assets.

 

[sazerac]

Anyone wanna donate some stats on the divorce rate for docs vs the general public? I feel like some people get SO caught up in their career (ie us SDN'ers, myself included) that we forget what this life is all about.

According to that PBS TV special "Doctor Diaries" it is 100% for doctors.

 

[touchpause13]

According to that PBS TV special "Doctor Diaries" it is 100% for doctors.

I call bull****

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[Jas1360]

Ambition and interest in science are far more important to me because that's the way I am too. Looks are important too, but not as much as the above.

I guess the key things that I would be valuing would be: ambition, confidence, and assertiveness. That being said, I don't want to end up being the dominant or submissive partner. I want equality.

I like the way you think.

 

[Snakes]

The extent of misinformation in this thread about prenups is alarming. Prenups are not routinely set aside. You guys have been watching too much TV. In equitable distribution states, depending on what your goal is, prenups generally operate to waive the rights of one or both parties as to current and future income and assets. So yes, you can waive your rights to future assets if you agree to do so. You can waive your right to alimony from your spouse. You can waive your right to nearly whatever you want to waive, except for child support. You can never waive child support in a prenup. This is because child support is the right of the child, and not of the parent.

Inherited property does not become marital unless the inheritor places it in joint names. Property that is separate property prior to the marriage generally remains so unless the spouse that came into the marriage with the property places it in joint names. Your spouse may be entitled to half of the increase in value of such property during the course of the marriage, especially if the spouse helped you maintain the property or made improvements to the property.

For example, let's say in a theoretical equitable distribution state you have $10,000 in a 401(k) before you marry. You marry, are married for thirty years, and when you divorce, the 401(k) has $1,000,000 in it due to continued contributions, interest, and ordinary increases in the value of the investment. Your spouse, if she leaves you on your 30th anniversary, will be entitled to half of ($1,000,000 minus $10,000)...so about $495,000.

In a prenup you can keep all of your property completely separate and make it nonmarital. So your earnings would stay your earnings and your spouse's earnings would stay their earnings. Ditto for debts. By the way, debt you bring into the marriage also remains separate. Debt acquired in joint names during the marriage becomes marital debt.

Cancel all of the above if you live in a community property state. In those states (and I know very little about community property divorce), generally speaking you share all assets and debts.

My husband and I did not have a prenup when we married. We both basically had nothing at the time, and our intentions were to become professional people (no moochers), so we passed on it. I kept my name. Our children have his last name. I like my last name. It's been my name my whole life, and I worked my ass off with that name to become who I am. To draw conclusions about the level of respect one feels for their husband based on whether or not they choose to take their last name is, to my mind, silly. You can blame your view on a patrilineal culture, but that doesn't really work if you wish to call yourself enlighted.

By the way, a lawyer can't force you NOT to sign a prenup. You have the right to make a bad deal just like any other person breathing air on this earth. Saying your lawyer "won't allow you" to sign a bad deal is crazy. I've seen plenty of people sign really bad deals against the advice of their lawyer. Signing a bad deal isn't grounds to contest the prenup later either. I think a prenup makes a lot of sense when the people getting married have children from previous marriages or when there are really disparate assets/debts. Ladies, beware of the guy who wants you to give up your career/education to be a stay at home wife and mother but also wants you to sign a prenup waiving your rights to alimony.

Disclaimer: Of course, this isn't legal advice. If you are considering a prenup, consult an attorney in your state.

 

[VisareAvGud]

According to that PBS TV special "Doctor Diaries" it is 100% for doctors.

Divorce rates have steadily decreased from that generation to ours/mine (young 20s). I think that this generation has a healthier view of relationships.

 

[Napoletana1007]

I would refuse to marry a girl who didn't take my name. Fortunately, if you did that in my culture, you would be ostracized and probably disowned by your family.


Anyways, here's the deal. If you try to keep your name, you're probably thinking "hurrr durrr I'm a womyn and I'm empowered! I'm keeping a woman's name!"

But you're not. You're keeping your father's name, and IIRC he's a man. So really, when you refuse to take your husband's name, the only thing you're doing is placing him below your father, and thus implicitly disrespecting the husband.

True... One man's last name or the other but I want to keep my last name because it is a very typical last name of my nationality and my culture/ethnic background are very important to me ..... so that's what I based my decision off of.

 

[Caeden]

Divorce rates have steadily decreased from that generation to ours/mine (young 20s). I think that this generation has a healthier view of relationships.

I like to think that as well. I've been with my wife for about 5 years and together about 7 total. We've been together since way before we decided that pre-med was for us.

 

[Roxas]

No prenupt for me. I like to live life on the edge.

 

[kgpremed11]

The extent of misinformation in this thread about prenups is alarming. Prenups are not routinely set aside. You guys have been watching too much TV. In equitable distribution states, depending on what your goal is, prenups generally operate to waive the rights of one or both parties as to current and future income and assets. So yes, you can waive your rights to future assets if you agree to do so. You can waive your right to alimony from your spouse. You can waive your right to nearly whatever you want to waive, except for child support. You can never waive child support in a prenup. This is because child support is the right of the child, and not of the parent.

Inherited property does not become marital unless the inheritor places it in joint names. Property that is separate property prior to the marriage generally remains so unless the spouse that came into the marriage with the property places it in joint names. Your spouse may be entitled to half of the increase in value of such property during the course of the marriage, especially if the spouse helped you maintain the property or made improvements to the property.

For example, let's say in a theoretical equitable distribution state you have $10,000 in a 401(k) before you marry. You marry, are married for thirty years, and when you divorce, the 401(k) has $1,000,000 in it due to continued contributions, interest, and ordinary increases in the value of the investment. Your spouse, if she leaves you on your 30th anniversary, will be entitled to half of ($1,000,000 minus $10,000)...so about $495,000.

In a prenup you can keep all of your property completely separate and make it nonmarital. So your earnings would stay your earnings and your spouse's earnings would stay their earnings. Ditto for debts. By the way, debt you bring into the marriage also remains separate. Debt acquired in joint names during the marriage becomes marital debt.

Cancel all of the above if you live in a community property state. In those states (and I know very little about community property divorce), generally speaking you share all assets and debts.

My husband and I did not have a prenup when we married. We both basically had nothing at the time, and our intentions were to become professional people (no moochers), so we passed on it. I kept my name. Our children have his last name. I like my last name. It's been my name my whole life, and I worked my ass off with that name to become who I am. To draw conclusions about the level of respect one feels for their husband based on whether or not they choose to take their last name is, to my mind, silly. You can blame your view on a patrilineal culture, but that doesn't really work if you wish to call yourself enlighted.

By the way, a lawyer can't force you NOT to sign a prenup. You have the right to make a bad deal just like any other person breathing air on this earth. Saying your lawyer "won't allow you" to sign a bad deal is crazy. I've seen plenty of people sign really bad deals against the advice of their lawyer. Signing a bad deal isn't grounds to contest the prenup later either. I think a prenup makes a lot of sense when the people getting married have children from previous marriages or when there are really disparate assets/debts. Ladies, beware of the guy who wants you to give up your career/education to be a stay at home wife and mother but also wants you to sign a prenup waiving your rights to alimony.

Disclaimer: Of course, this isn't legal advice. If you are considering a prenup, consult an attorney in your state.

Are you a medical student? Attending? Divorce lawyer??? BTW you made my day.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

The extent of misinformation in this thread about prenups is alarming. Prenups are not routinely set aside. You guys have been watching too much TV. In equitable distribution states, depending on what your goal is, prenups generally operate to waive the rights of one or both parties as to current and future income and assets. So yes, you can waive your rights to future assets if you agree to do so. You can waive your right to alimony from your spouse. You can waive your right to nearly whatever you want to waive, except for child support. You can never waive child support in a prenup. This is because child support is the right of the child, and not of the parent.

Inherited property does not become marital unless the inheritor places it in joint names. Property that is separate property prior to the marriage generally remains so unless the spouse that came into the marriage with the property places it in joint names. Your spouse may be entitled to half of the increase in value of such property during the course of the marriage, especially if the spouse helped you maintain the property or made improvements to the property.

For example, let's say in a theoretical equitable distribution state you have $10,000 in a 401(k) before you marry. You marry, are married for thirty years, and when you divorce, the 401(k) has $1,000,000 in it due to continued contributions, interest, and ordinary increases in the value of the investment. Your spouse, if she leaves you on your 30th anniversary, will be entitled to half of ($1,000,000 minus $10,000)...so about $495,000.

In a prenup you can keep all of your property completely separate and make it nonmarital. So your earnings would stay your earnings and your spouse's earnings would stay their earnings. Ditto for debts. By the way, debt you bring into the marriage also remains separate. Debt acquired in joint names during the marriage becomes marital debt.

Cancel all of the above if you live in a community property state. In those states (and I know very little about community property divorce), generally speaking you share all assets and debts.

My husband and I did not have a prenup when we married. We both basically had nothing at the time, and our intentions were to become professional people (no moochers), so we passed on it. I kept my name. Our children have his last name. I like my last name. It's been my name my whole life, and I worked my ass off with that name to become who I am. To draw conclusions about the level of respect one feels for their husband based on whether or not they choose to take their last name is, to my mind, silly. You can blame your view on a patrilineal culture, but that doesn't really work if you wish to call yourself enlighted.

By the way, a lawyer can't force you NOT to sign a prenup. You have the right to make a bad deal just like any other person breathing air on this earth. Saying your lawyer "won't allow you" to sign a bad deal is crazy. I've seen plenty of people sign really bad deals against the advice of their lawyer. Signing a bad deal isn't grounds to contest the prenup later either. I think a prenup makes a lot of sense when the people getting married have children from previous marriages or when there are really disparate assets/debts. Ladies, beware of the guy who wants you to give up your career/education to be a stay at home wife and mother but also wants you to sign a prenup waiving your rights to alimony.

Disclaimer: Of course, this isn't legal advice. If you are considering a prenup, consult an attorney in your state.

This is some good info. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Eiot]

You made my day

Always nice when someone comes in who knows what they're talking about.

 

[kgpremed11]

Always nice when someone comes in who knows what they're talking about.

Yeah hearing pre meds talk about divorce law, I can imagine is like hearing pre laws talk about g protein mediated signal transduction.

 

[MedPR]

Pre laws know as much about the law as we do about medicine. Nada.

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[VisareAvGud]

Yeah hearing pre meds talk about divorce law, I can imagine is like hearing pre laws talk about g protein mediated signal transduction.

You realize you asked the question in a pre-med forum right?

 

[bortenson]

Hypothetical question for you- your wife won't change her last name but agrees that your future kids get your last name. Still anti?

Question for the feminists- would you change your last name if your future husband had a really cool last name? Like Chalupa or Batman?

I'm a dude and I would take my wife's last name if it were Batman.

 

[kgpremed11]

I'm a dude and I would take my wife's last name if it were Batman.

Nurse: Wait right here and Dr. Batman will be in shortly

"you enter the room in mask, cape and white coat

Patient: Is this real life?????

 

[Snakes]

Pre laws know as much about the law as we do about medicine. Nada.

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If you are assuming I am pre-law, you are incorrect. Although, I can assure you that when I graduated from law school (a long long time ago), I knew about as much about the specific law of the state I became barred in as you and I will know of medicine when we graduate from medical school. Which is to say, Nada. As you pointed out. Pre-law and pre-meds know less than nothing. That's what training is for.

 

[Snakes]

By the way, the law of every state varies. You should only seek legal advice from a lawyer barred in your specific state. You can probably guess that I am not barred in a community property state, if that narrows it down.

 

[Snakes]

Nurse: Wait right here and Dr. Batman will be in shortly

"you enter the room in mask, cape and white coat

Patient: Is this real life?????

I would totally be looking for the hidden camera...

 

[ligand]

Yes. No pre-nup no marriage. Dead srs. Come at me future wife, brosephina. I am not getting taken to the cleaners. I don't buy all that "true love" bull. Age 20 btw.

 

[touchpause13]

Yes. No pre-nup no marriage. Dead srs. Come at me future wife, brosephina. I am not getting taken to the cleaners. I don't buy all that "true love" bull. Age 20 btw.

really? i was going to guess 15...

 

[mehc012]

If you are assuming I am pre-law, you are incorrect. Although, I can assure you that when I graduated from law school (a long long time ago), I knew about as much about the specific law of the state I became barred in as you and I will know of medicine when we graduate from medical school. Which is to say, Nada. As you pointed out. Pre-law and pre-meds know less than nothing. That's what training is for.

Pretty sure he was referring to the comment above his, which equated us (as premeds) giving legal advice (all the incorrect BS you pointed out from this thread) to a hypothetical prelaw tutoring someone on a complex biochem problem.

We're allll in agreement here, we were even asking for someone such as yourself to give us some advice on this...thanks for taking the time to do so!!

 

[IniestaDeMiVida]

According to that PBS TV special "Doctor Diaries" it is 100% for doctors.

Ha! Yeah, I watched the show not too long ago and it freaked me out. So many failed marriages and relationships! I felt bad for the overweight ER doc, I think he was my favorite.

 

[kgpremed11]

Yes. No pre-nup no marriage. Dead srs. Come at me future wife, brosephina. I am not getting taken to the cleaners. I don't buy all that "true love" bull. Age 20 btw.

really? i was going to guess 15...

Just because somebody doesn't believe in all the true love and soul mates crap doesnt mean they are immature, probably more mature than most of you kids. Most of you have never really lived in the real world. You have been sheltered by higher education and parents who provided you with a comfortable life. Life will wake you up sooner or later.

 

[mehc012]

Just because somebody doesn't believe in all the true love and soul mates crap doesnt mean they are immature, probably more mature than most of you kids. Most of you have never really lived in the real world. You have been sheltered by higher education and parents who provided you with a comfortable life. Life will wake you up sooner or later.

Right, your cynicism makes you the pinnacle of maturity.
You don't have to have had an easy life, OR seen your parents' relationship work out, to recognize that many people find happy relationships.

 

[touchpause13]

Just because somebody doesn't believe in all the true love and soul mates crap doesnt mean they are immature, probably more mature than most of you kids. Most of you have never really lived in the real world. You have been sheltered by higher education and parents who provided you with a comfortable life. Life will wake you up sooner or later.

Really that's how your going to play it? Don't act like you know my life story baby

You know what. I changed my mind, your reallly startin to piss me off tryin to read me like that so congrats you've warrented a real response from me.

You. Don't. Know. ****.

You don't know **** about relationships and u sure as hell don't know about my life. When I was 16 years old my parents kicked me out the house because I was dating another woman so don't you dare tryin come up me with this spoiled brat line. How dare you try and talk to me about relationships little man, have you ever even had sex? Yes I'm taken care of fincianlly but that doesn't make me some immature little c$nt who doesn't know jack about life and real world. Have fun on your "love is dead" throne little boy, let me know how that works out for you.

#sorryimnotsorry
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[Dmr6186]

Just because somebody doesn't believe in all the true love and soul mates crap doesnt mean they are immature, probably more mature than most of you kids. Most of you have never really lived in the real world. You have been sheltered by higher education and parents who provided you with a comfortable life. Life will wake you up sooner or later.

El. Oh. El. You know us so well.

 

[MedPR]

If you are assuming I am pre-law, you are incorrect. Although, I can assure you that when I graduated from law school (a long long time ago), I knew about as much about the specific law of the state I became barred in as you and I will know of medicine when we graduate from medical school. Which is to say, Nada. As you pointed out. Pre-law and pre-meds know less than nothing. That's what training is for.

I wasn't assuming you or anyone else was prelaw. I was just replying to the person I quoted. It was the second comment about a prelaw student coming in here and explaining the law to us.

Just because somebody doesn't believe in all the true love and soul mates crap doesnt mean they are immature, probably more mature than most of you kids. Most of you have never really lived in the real world. You have been sheltered by higher education and parents who provided you with a comfortable life. Life will wake you up sooner or later.

Sounds like life threw you in a sky cell.


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[kgpremed11]

Really that's how your going to play it? Don't act like you know my life story baby

You know what. I changed my mind, your reallly startin to piss me off tryin to read me like that so congrats you've warrented a real response from me.

You. Don't. Know. ****.

You don't know **** about relationships and u sure as hell don't know about my life. When I was 16 years old my parents kicked me out the house because I was dating another woman so don't you dare tryin come up me with this spoiled brat line. How dare you try and talk to me about relationships little man, have you ever even had sex? Yes I'm taken care of fincianlly but that doesn't make me some immature little c$nt who doesn't know jack about life and real world. Have fun on your "love is dead" throne little boy, let me know how that works out for you.

#sorryimnotsorry
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Boo Hoo you're a lesbian or bi or whatever you are, get over it. It's not that unique. Funny thing is I have nothing aginst homosexual people, I feel like they should have the same rights as everybody else and not be bullied or discriminated aginst, but you made an enemy of me so whatever dude. The way you act makes you seem like an immature little c$nt. Mature people let things roll of their back sometimes, while you pick a fight any chance you get. @ the "have you ever even had sex" part. Yeah I have, but WTF does that have to do with anything? There are 13 y/o kids that f*uck like rampant loose dogs, so are they experts on love? grow up please.

 

[Oo Cipher oO]

Boo Hoo you're a lesbian or bi or whatever you are, get over it. It's not that unique. Funny thing is I have nothing aginst homosexual people, I feel like they should have the same rights as everybody else and not be bullied or discriminated aginst, but you made an enemy of me so whatever dude. The way you act makes you seem like an immature little c$nt. Mature people let things roll of their back sometimes, while you pick a fight any chance you get. @ the "have you ever even had sex" part. Yeah I have, but WTF does that have to do with anything? There are 13 y/o kids that f*uck like rampant loose dogs, so are they experts on love? grow up please.

Bye bye kgpremed. It was not so nice knowing you.

 

[MedPR]

Boo Hoo you're a lesbian or bi or whatever you are, get over it. It's not that unique. Funny thing is I have nothing aginst homosexual people, I feel like they should have the same rights as everybody else and not be bullied or discriminated aginst, but you made an enemy of me so whatever dude. The way you act makes you seem like an immature little c$nt. Mature people let things roll of their back sometimes, while you pick a fight any chance you get. @ the "have you ever even had sex" part. Yeah I have, but WTF does that have to do with anything? There are 13 y/o kids that f*uck like rampant loose dogs, so are they experts on love? grow up please.

In b4 ban.

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[Lys Ile Glu Leu]

Isn't the point of the asterisk to block one of the letters of the loosely veiled expletive?

 

[MedPR]

Isn't the point of the asterisk to block one of the letters of the loosely veiled expletive?

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[zwander]

I will tell them my mom is making me get one.

Also, MedPR do you do anything besides post on sdn?