Which part do you find difficult? I thought it was going to be like that too, and then I ended up just going to lunch with a DO in the area. When I asked her about shadowing, she told me that it was boring and that I shouldn't do it. Then I asked, how do you get a LOR? She gave me a funny look and said "Oh, I can absolutely write you that," like it was no big deal. So, while being able to shadow for a while to get to know them is awesome and nice, it is not viewed as completely necessary by every doctor, as I found out.
I was still sad about the not shadowing part though, I really wanted to get a feel for pediatrics.
Anyway, keep at it! If no one is letting you shadow, then offer to meet them just to talk about being a doctor or something under that premise. Then ask how they got a LOR from a DO. Hopefully that will open a door to that conversation. Either way, good luck!
Maybe others can post their "How I found a DO" or "How I got a LOR" story for inspiration?