Funny quotes from "less informed" premeds

[coldleg]

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trust me. you always come out on top not laughing. The good news is, is that once you get to med school (most schools, anyway) these people are promptly identified and ostracized. On your clinical clerkships, most residents and attendings can see right through the BS*. The best thing you could do is be yourself, and let the jerks dig their own figurative graves.

*Caveat: when they can't see through it, it will make for your own personal hell on Earth.

 

[seafood92]

What's obvious to some people might not be so obvious to others, we can't all be geniuses 🙄
I know I'm always asking "obvious" questions, usually for clarification or because I didn't hear the teacher before.

lol sucks you're not genius

 

[VisionaryTics]

Last friday a freshman friend of mine had a gen bio test and I asked her how she felt about it on Monday:

Me: So how did that bio test go??? Did you study the cardiovascular and basic cell respiration topics well?

Her: It went ok......I wish I studied more

Me: ahh well that sucks :/ how much did you study?

Her: I went out and partied thursday night. OMG why do they test us on this stupid **** we're never going to need to know it again!!

Me: Uh because you do need to know it....physiology and basic metabolic processes are important for any pre-health/premed student

Her: Well only losers like you who actually study in the library for these tests would do well. I at least have a bf. This is gen bio and unimportant class for med school.

Me: 😕 That is completely unrelated. And this class is very important. And yes I did study for that test 2 years ago when I took this class..... I kind of wanted an A you know

Her: Well you're just smart. How's your physio class?

Me: It's basically gen bio but 100000x harder. You won't learn that "insulin is secreted from beta cells b/c of high blood glucose" but how mechanistically insulin is secreted from beta cells. That's the easy stuff. We also get posed clinical cases on tests and have to make "diagnoses" based on our knowledge of physiology and explain the mechanism of the disease.

Her: Oh I like that stuff better, it's so much easier.

Me: Um.....okk.......... Btw did you study for the Cyanide poisoning essay question I told you was on my test?

Her: I HATE YOU GO AWAY!!!!!!

me: *facepalm* K........

I kind of hate you, too.

 

[NeuralNetwork]

Me: It's basically gen bio but 100000x harder. You won't learn that "insulin is secreted from beta cells b/c of high blood glucose" but how mechanistically insulin is secreted from beta cells. That's the easy stuff. We also get posed clinical cases on tests and have to make "diagnoses" based on our knowledge of physiology and explain the mechanism of the disease.

 

[Shinobiz11]

It's pretty cool that House and his team are certified in EVERY SINGLE SPECIALTY, though, and that obviously no radiology techs or lab techs work at the hospital so they have to do those jobs too. At Princeton-Plainsboro, you have to be an MD to look at CBCs! And that silly idea of having separate doctors to perform surgery, read scans, treat kids, treat adults, and take care of sick babies? Nonsense! Princeton-Plainsboro has got a system worked out -- there's Wilson to do oncology consultations, and there's House's team to do literally everything else. Yay!

That's my biggest pet peeve about the show, haha. My boyfriend seriously thought that doctors were able to do all those things. Misinformation on the loose!

So apparently, there are only three jobs at Princeton-Plainsboro; Oncologist, Nagging-Ethical-Woman-Doctor and SuperDoctor. Oh, and don't forget all those extras who just walk around the hospital, appearing busy, but never doing anything.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTRT0HYsYU0[/YOUTUBE]

0:25
"Not you henchman arbitrarily turning knobs making it seem like you are doing something."

 

[Big N Tasty]

.

 

[beanbean]

Yeah, good point. In the ED I work at (and this applies for every ED), they basically have a radiologist come in for every reading.

Completely off topic but I want to clarify. ED docs routinely read our own plain films (X-rays) but have radiologists read CTs. Many of us are ultrasound certified and perform our own ultrasounds but this is less common. The radiologists always review our findings on X-rays and we call patients if there is a discrepancy. Radiologists don't "come in" to read studies. They are usually in a room in the rads dept reading studies. Also on night shifts most studies are read by a "tele radiology " service in India or Australia with a local radiologist "on call ".

However, I agree House (and Grey's Anatomy) are ridiculous.

We are all misinformed at some point in our lives. Some of these posts are great and bring back some memories of the premed and undergrad process. The sad part is those who refuse to listen to advice and gentle correction. These people have a tough road ahead in life
and tend to float from one goal to another never realizing why they continuing to fail and blaming everyone else around them.

For those of you annoyed by the classmate who continually asks needless questions in lecture....you will meet her again in med school but less often in residency. When I was an MS1 we had a classmate who asked these questions every lecture. Everyone was so angry and frustrated by her. She was actually a very nice person and completely unaware of how people felt. I talked to her one day after lecture and it resolved the issue. I wish more professors would just take these students aside and ask them to ask questions after class. It would save everyone much frustration and annoyance. It shouldn't be left to another student to try to broach the subject.

 

[Stumpyman]

Completely off topic but I want to clarify. ED docs routinely read our own plain films (X-rays) but have radiologists read CTs. Many of us are ultrasound certified and perform our own ultrasounds but this is less common. The radiologists always review our findings on X-rays and we call patients if there is a discrepancy. Radiologists don't "come in" to read studies. They are usually in a room in the rads dept reading studies. Also on night shifts most studies are read by a "tele radiology " service in India or Australia with a local radiologist "on call ".

However, I agree House (and Grey's Anatomy) are ridiculous.

We are all misinformed at some point in our lives. Some of these posts are great and bring back some memories of the premed and undergrad process. The sad part is those who refuse to listen to advice and gentle correction. These people have a tough road ahead in life
and tend to float from one goal to another never realizing why they continuing to fail and blaming everyone else around them.

For those of you annoyed by the classmate who continually asks needless questions in lecture....you will meet her again in med school but less often in residency. When I was an MS1 we had a classmate who asked these questions every lecture. Everyone was so angry and frustrated by her. She was actually a very nice person and completely unaware of how people felt. I talked to her one day after lecture and it resolved the issue. I wish more professors would just take these students aside and ask them to ask questions after class. It would save everyone much frustration and annoyance. It shouldn't be left to another student to try to broach the subject.

Yeah, I know a lot of the ED doctors read the X-rays, I didn't know about the Ultrasound thing (I haven't seen a doctor yet who does that here, but it's likely). I over-exaggerated when I said a radiologist looks at every reading, but there is always a round the clock radiologist at the hospital ED I'm at.

 

[julie29524]

Conversation with premed:

me: what specialty do you like?
her: I want to do intra-uterine cardiothoracic surgery for the fetuses with congenital birth defects that must get repaired before birth........
me: nice. Any particular reason?
her: because I think its like super cool.
me: whats the route for that? is it gen surg 1st, ped surg, or ob/gyn + MFM?
her: I am not sure, I just know its what I want to do after watching Kate Walsh(Dr. Addison Montgomery)'s character on Grey's anatomy and Private Practice. Did you see that episode when she blah, blah, blah......

 

[music2doc]

Rewind to freshman year cell and molecular biology. We're at a review session for an exam covering transcription and translation when midway through, a girl raises her hand and asks the professor, "What's the difference between transcription and translation?"

This was followed by a lecture hall's worth of silence, then laughter. We then discovered she was serious so the professor answered the question...

Umm... freshmen bio. So her bio background was a bit weak, she might be a bit slow, and she needed some help understanding. Frankly, you and your class come out of this story sounding a bit like d-bags. That is an appropriate time to ask and the fact that she did ask is a good thing. Had she been too afraid to ask, then there'd be more reason for concern. Sounds to me like your laughter had the potential to hurt her academically in the future. Honestly, I've heard students make mistakes even in upper-division bio courses between transcription and translation.

 

[Stumpyman]

Umm... freshmen bio. So her bio background was a bit weak, she might be a bit slow, and she needed some help understanding. Frankly, you and your class come out of this story sounding a bit like d-bags. That is an appropriate time to ask and the fact that she did ask is a good thing. Had she been too afraid to ask, then there'd be more reason for concern. Sounds to me like your laughter had the potential to hurt her academically in the future. Honestly, I've heard students make mistakes even in upper-division bio courses between transcription and translation.

Yeah, that seemed like a valid question. After freshman bio, I still had to review what the difference was before taking cell bio.

 

[VisionaryTics]

Conversation with premed:

me: what specialty do you like?
her: I want to do intra-uterine cardiothoracic surgery for the fetuses with congenital birth defects that must get repaired before birth........
me: nice. Any particular reason?
her: because I think its like super cool.
me: whats the route for that? is it gen surg 1st, ped surg, or ob/gyn + MFM?
her: I am not sure, I just know its what I want to do after watching Kate Walsh(Dr. Addison Montgomery)'s character on Grey's anatomy and Private Practice. Did you see that episode when she blah, blah, blah......

I'm always amazed by the specificity of pre-med interests.

 

[Big N Tasty]

.

 

[mmmcdowe]

Nah, he asked the question in a way that definitely didn't imply that.



Well the question was directed to me, so pretty sure I was worrying about myself. And I certainly wasn't doubting his abilities. Sure, I know that there are select schools that offer them, but the vast, vast majority do not, so my "pretty much don't exist" comment wasn't really incorrect. To be fair to the guy, he phrased the question in the negative form, so he knew the answer was a "no" before he even asked.

A decade ago when that resident was probably in college pre-med majors were much more common. Further, since you knew he/she knew the answer was no, what was the whole purpose of bashing him/her for not knowing?

 

[GooDooG]

daaaamn some of you sound like douches ITT. there is nothing wrong with asking a question, even if YOU think it's stupid.

 

[Big N Tasty]

.

 

[IlDestriero]

Conversation with premed:

me: what specialty do you like?
her: I want to do intra-uterine cardiothoracic surgery for the fetuses with congenital birth defects that must get repaired before birth........
me: nice. Any particular reason?
her: because I think its like super cool.
me: whats the route for that? is it gen surg 1st, ped surg, or ob/gyn + MFM?
her: I am not sure, I just know its what I want to do after watching Kate Walsh(Dr. Addison Montgomery)'s character on Grey's anatomy and Private Practice. Did you see that episode when she blah, blah, blah......

I do anesthesia for fetal surgery, it's the future. But don't expect to see it at your local Hospital anytime soon. Most children's hospitals don't even have a program.

 

[physcigirl27]

No way--he was far too entertaining! He claimed to have turned down grad school offers from MIT and Stanford along with a job from Google because he wanted to stay at his state U and get a math minor. 😕 He pretended to be teaching a couple classes. It was epic.

I know quite a few tools. One went to my high school and claimed his mom died from CA freshman year, 2nd year his mom worked at a sticker factory (coincidentally at a time when some teacher needed stickers for some org thing), 3rd year his mom was a lawyer, etc. He also told everyone that he got into stanford on a full-ride in the 8th grade because he had "bone CA" so all he had to do was graduate from high school....grrrr....(he doesnt have CA btw)

But on a medically related note: my friend's ex-gf went to a JC for 4 years (I hadn't met her but she was friends with some people I went to high school with). All of a sudden she adds me on fb and I see that it says "Cardiothoracic Surgery resident" at Stanford...she hasn't even gone to a 4 yr uni, let alone GONE TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. But girl was PSYCHO. She had a stanford med school license plate on her car, stanford med sweatshirts, t-shirts and would get super defensive everytime someone asked her specifics". Also, even though she was at Stanford doing her residency, she was at EVERY party regardless of when it was. Lo and behold, we ended up finding out she was at some ITT tech type thing that was affiliated with Stanford and allowed people doing whatever she was doing (I still don't know to this day) to do their rotations at the hospital the Stanford ppl were at. Yet to this day, her fb shows "cardiothoracic surgery" and 1/2 the people down here buy it. I was told that I was a "jealous b*@)$" when I mentioned that it was impossible to finish med school + residency in the 2 years it apparently took this girl...

So true..
In a conversation with my mom about possible med schools to apply, she goes

Mom: "Why don't you just go to UCSF? It's close by to where your sister lives and stuff."

me: ................(May I remind you that UCSF is ranked top 5 in NIH grants alongside with Harvard, U Penn, and Johns Hopkins? And also the fact that it is one of the most selective schools in the nation?)......"sigh".....

"sure mom."

My mom's favorite thing to say whenever we drove past UCSD. Of course she got super offended/hurt when I said "yep mom, maybe as a patient..."

 

[Dr. Ducky]

I took the MCAT out of town and had to stay at a local hotel the night before. My test was scheduled or 1PM, and due to the 11AM checkout and nerves, I arrived at the testing center super early. When the next pre med arrived (still a bit early), we struck up a conversation that went like this:

Him: You nervous?
Me: Yeah, a little. Just trying to stay calm, pace myself and do what I've been practicing for. You?
Him: Nah, man. I've been studying for like 2-3 hours a day for 3 weeks.
Me: Oh.....🙂confused:???) Have you taken any practice tests?
Him: Kaplan came to my school and let us take a mini FL, and I scored a 19. So, after my recent studying, I'm expecting to break 20. I mean I read that the average is like 21, right?
Me: (blankly staring) Yeah, seems like I read that somewhere, too.....

Needless to say, I relaxed a little bit knowing it COULD be worse!

 

[ljpm8224]

i was a douchy pre-med when i thought i was the cat's meow for learning how to pronounce sphygmomanometer. then i tried to rally my coed softball team to name ourselves "The Sphygmomanometers." They were like, "yeah, um, NO." 🙂 heh.

point being, everyone is a clueless idiot/overly impressed with themselves/completely delusional and/or asking lame questions in class at some point! ye need not feel smug on teh internets. help your fellow man. rising tide lifts all boats and all that.

 

[PantherPride]

point being, everyone is a clueless idiot/overly impressed with themselves/completely delusional and/or asking lame questions in class at some point! ye need not feel smug on teh internets. help your fellow man. rising tide lifts all boats and all that.

But where else will we go to get our egos boosted?

 

[rxlea]

Not sure if this counts, in my genetics class, the prof. was talking about some chromosome disorder, as he was going to the next slide this girl raises her hand and remarks that she saw that same thing on House, and blah blah blah about some crazy experimental treatment, I couldn't hear because everyone was laughing.

We have an elective based on House. Pharmacy, nursing, and med students can take it together. One of our clinical professors teaches it. That stuff is pretty legit.

 

[circulus vitios]

It's not so much the questions that's annoying... it's the pretend curiosity. I have at least two people in one of my classes who'll start laughing really loud at any thing that slightly resembles a joke by the prof.

Prof: "And so the H+ hops on over to the other side"

Student: HahahaahAHHAHA hooo hahaha!

...

There was a guy in my freshman general chemistry class who did that. He laughed at the professor's joke. The room went silent with disgust. A girl took this opportunity and loudly mocked his laughing with a UH HUH HUH HAH HA guffaw. The lecture hall burst into laughter. Sadly, the guy didn't take the hint.

 

[Shinobiz11]

We have an elective based on House. Pharmacy, nursing, and med students can take it together. One of our clinical professors teaches it. That stuff is pretty legit.

Haha, that's really interesting. I always wondered if the medical consultants on these shows are actually doing their jobs.

 

[TheMightySmiter]

Reading this thread makes me way more annoyed by the posters telling the stories than by the "less-informed" subjects of these stories.

 

[I'm No Superman]

I used to think that I would have to get into Harvard to get into med school and thought that I was going to be a neurosurgeon without knowing jack about the specialty. True story.

 

[MWB]

I used to think that I would have to get into Harvard to get into med school and thought that I was going to be a neurosurgeon without knowing jack about the specialty. True story.

I think that's fine...it's just dreaming big. It's not fine when people do it and then tell others in a very obnoxious, matter-of-fact manner lol.

 

[Scalpels]

Not really a funny quote, but it is something embarrassing...except it's about me. lol Feel free to make fun.

I was shadowing at this ER for almost every day for a month. Docs were super cool, thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with the medical students.

Like 2 weeks into it, this nurse comes up to me and just rips me a new one, saying how she's tired of constantly confusing me as a nurse (wore scrubs - had to, it was policy), etc etc, and wanted me to wear a lab coat.

So, not wanting to cause problems, I bought a short white coat and wore that. No one ever said anything to me, and the med students felt bad because they watched her chew me out, but I am 100% positive that the nurses were pulling one over on me and laughing behind my back.

So, yes, I was that pre-med wearing a white coat at the ER. lol I didn't stitch anything into it, though...

Great thread, I've literally read this whole thing from front to back. Thanks for the laughs! haha

 

[Shinobiz11]

Not really a funny quote, but it is something embarrassing...except it's about me. lol Feel free to make fun.

I was shadowing at this ER for almost every day for a month. Docs were super cool, thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with the medical students.

Like 2 weeks into it, this nurse comes up to me and just rips me a new one, saying how she's tired of constantly confusing me as a nurse (wore scrubs - had to, it was policy), etc etc, and wanted me to wear a lab coat.

So, not wanting to cause problems, I bought a short white coat and wore that. No one ever said anything to me, and the med students felt bad because they watched her chew me out, but I'm am 100% positive that the nurses were pulling one over on me and laughing behind my back.

So, yes, I was that pre-med wearing a white coat at the ER. lol I didn't stitch anything into it, though...

Great thread, I've literally read this whole thing from front to back. Thanks for the laughs! haha

Haha thats funny.
When I got my lab coat for chemistry labs (required at my institution). I would dress up on purpose just to see how I looked in the garb. I have to say, I looked mighty fine.

I never thought of posting my own "less informed" blunders. Back in high school, when I realized I wanted to be a doctor, for some reason I felt the need to use my brother's college anatomy book and just sit there and memorize random things, like muscles, blood vessels, bones, etc. For some reason I thought it would have put me ahead. What a tool I was lol.

 

[Tots]

Reading this thread makes me way more annoyed by the posters telling the stories than by the "less-informed" subjects of these stories.

I agree haha. I am somewhat sad I contributed to this thread in the past 🙁

 

[octupus]

Last friday a freshman friend of mine had a gen bio test and I asked her how she felt about it on Monday:

Me: So how did that bio test go??? Did you study the cardiovascular and basic cell respiration topics well?

Her: It went ok......I wish I studied more

Me: ahh well that sucks :/ how much did you study?

Her: I went out and partied thursday night. OMG why do they test us on this stupid **** we're never going to need to know it again!!

Me: Uh because you do need to know it....physiology and basic metabolic processes are important for any pre-health/premed student

Her: Well only losers like you who actually study in the library for these tests would do well. I at least have a bf. This is gen bio and unimportant class for med school.

Me: 😕 That is completely unrelated. And this class is very important. And yes I did study for that test 2 years ago when I took this class..... I kind of wanted an A you know

Her: Well you're just smart. How's your physio class?

Me: It's basically gen bio but 100000x harder. You won't learn that "insulin is secreted from beta cells b/c of high blood glucose" but how mechanistically insulin is secreted from beta cells. That's the easy stuff. We also get posed clinical cases on tests and have to make "diagnoses" based on our knowledge of physiology and explain the mechanism of the disease.

Her: Oh I like that stuff better, it's so much easier.

Me: Um.....okk.......... Btw did you study for the Cyanide poisoning essay question I told you was on my test?

Her: I HATE YOU GO AWAY!!!!!!

me: *facepalm* K........

I kind of hate you, too.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I read argama's post and was thinking
ugh, gunner pre-meds are way worst than uninformed pre-meds

 

[I'm No Superman]

Haha thats funny.
When I got my lab coat for chemistry labs (required at my institution). I would dress up on purpose just to see how I looked in the garb. I have to say, I looked mighty fine.

I never thought of posting my own "less informed" blunders. Back in high school, when I realized I wanted to be a doctor, for some reason I felt the need to use my brother's college anatomy book and just sit there and memorize random things, like muscles, blood vessels, bones, etc. For some reason I thought it would have put me ahead. What a tool I was lol.

I bought a hard cover Gray's Anatomy book last summer and tried to read the entire thing. I made it to Cell (page 3).

 

[ppfizenm]

After a particularly troubling case in the ED, based on what I've seen on tv, I expected a mass orgy to break out in the break room. I was the only one who took my clothes off when we got there.

 

[I'm No Superman]

After a particularly troubling case in the ED, based on what I've seen on tv, I expected a mass orgy to break out in the break room. I was the only one who took my clothes off when we got there.

So everyone else took off their clothes before they got there?

 

[ppfizenm]

So everyone else took off their clothes before they got there?

yea. It was really embarrassing not knowing that I was supposed to take them off en route.

 

[I'm No Superman]

yea. It was really embarrassing not knowing that I was supposed to take them off en route.

Rookie mistake, you better not ask for a LOR, I'm sure it came up in an interview as well.

 

[ppfizenm]

Rookie mistake, you better not ask for a LOR, I'm sure it came up in an interview as well.

Oh, it came UP in an interview

 

[I'm No Superman]

Oh, it came UP in an interview

 

[ppfizenm]

 

[vayntraubinator]

I bought a hard cover Gray's Anatomy book last summer and tried to read the entire thing. I made it to Cell (page 3).

So you bought it b/c it had Izzie Stevens on the cover??! lol ..I hope it wasn't all text

 

[I'm No Superman]

So you bought it b/c it had Izzie Stevens on the cover??! lol ..I hope it wasn't all text

I'm pretty sure this is a joke, but just in case...

Gray's Anatomy - Illustrated anatomy book

Grey's Anatomy - TV show

 

[vayntraubinator]

I'm pretty sure this is a joke, but just in case...

Gray's Anatomy - Illustrated anatomy book

Grey's Anatomy - TV show

My problematic problem from skimming these. When I read your post i thought you were talking about this book http://www.amazon.com/Greys-Anatomy...=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1332279699&sr=1-6

My friend has a copy and bought it b/c of the actors on the cover 🙂 I thought you were one of those people, but now I see you're a half-hearted gunner. muahahahhaa

 

[ljpm8224]

^^ thought you were kewl before, but now that u posted this gif, serious luff 😍

 

[Dr. Ducky]

Ha! Greatness.

 

[gujuDoc]

I bought a hard cover Gray's Anatomy book last summer and tried to read the entire thing. I made it to Cell (page 3).

which version? The student edition?? Or the original?? or the 20 dollar leather bound version that they sell at barnes and noble???

I got that leather bound collectors edition but have never really looked anything up in it. The textbook version 2nd edition was much better for learning purposes.

 

[varsityblue]

"I'm only going into medicine so that I can grope a plastic cadaver without fear of judgment." - Weird guy in my Bio class

"Hold on a sec, Mom! Parsallah, you said that if I got into medical school you'd buy me a Rolls Royce!" - Random Arab chick yelling into her phone at Whole Foods

"Hell no, I didn't study for the MCAT. I just f*cked an Asian guy, stole his notes, and then f*cked his tutor for more practice exams." - Junior on my floor

 

[gujuDoc]

"I'm only going into medicine so that I can grope a plastic cadaver without fear of judgment." - Weird guy in my Bio class

"Hold on a sec, Mom! Parsallah, you said that if I got into medical school you'd buy me a Rolls Royce!" - Random Arab chick yelling into her phone at Whole Foods

"Hell no, I didn't study for the MCAT. I just f*cked an Asian guy, stole his notes, and then f*cked his tutor for more practice exams." - Junior on my floor

Wow just wow!!!!

As per the 2nd one, lot of indians try to entice their kids to do medicine with such bribes too. I knew an indian family friend in my home town who promised his nieces he'd give them a mercedes or bmw if they went into medicine. Neither did and honestly couldn't see either as a physician. but its not as shocking as u think. lol.

 

[Scalpels]

As per the 2nd one, lot of indians try to entice their kids to do medicine with such bribes too. I knew an indian family friend in my home town who promised his nieces he'd give them a mercedes or bmw if they went into medicine. Neither did and honestly couldn't see either as a physician. but its not as shocking as u think. lol.

I think it happens with a lot of people...

For example (I'm white): my dad said he'd fund me a trip to Europe for like 2 weeks if I got into medical school.

But I think he wasn't doing it to entice me into medicine, but because he doesn't think he'll have to do it.

Wait... My dad's a jerk! lol 🙄

 

[TheMightySmiter]

Sometimes I'm amazed at how wealthy most pre-meds really are without even realizing it.

 

[Shinobiz11]

Sometimes I'm amazed at how wealthy most pre-meds really are without even realizing it.

This.

Is not me.🙁