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- Jun 6, 2017
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Hey guys,
I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. Basically I'm a first year medical student who is studying outside of the UK (my home country) and I intend to apply to the US in the future for residency programs.
Now, I want to clarify that I haven't been officially diagnosed with depression* but I finally got the guts to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss what's wrong with me so I'm going end of this week. BUT. I'm doubting this decision now.
If I do get officially diagnosed with it, will I have to reveal this on any application or interview that I have/had depression at some point? Same if I'm applying for UK if there's anyone who knows the process from there? I'm wondering whether I should just cancel my appointment and somehow fight it out if it means I won't get into residency programs, because I have to admit, the stigma with mental health is still there. I know it sounds really bad to think that I shouldn't get help or have it on my medical records but I don't want it to affect my chances in the future.
*I struggled to get into Medical school in the UK for about 3 years mainly due to my grades not being amazing. I got great grades (ABB), but for medical school not enough (AAA). Shockingly none of that gave me depression! But I finally got accepted outside of the UK (Sept 2016), moved to this new country and I couldn't have been happier! I made lovely friends, got a nice support network, my grades in first year medical school have been one of the best, been hitting the gym (4-5 times a week) to improve my health, going out with friends, the country is a hot with almost tropical climate (WOO because UK weather sucks) and basically this year has been the best of my life. Not felt homesick either because my parents visit every month or I go back, and I went to University for one year in the UK so I know what it's like to live away from home.
Then one day, I stopped feeling. It just happened out of nowhere. This was since the first week of May. Now everyday is like I'm wasting away. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad, I don't feel stressed, nervous (I should be because exams??), I feel absolutely nothing - no emotions. Empty. I hate eating now. I've lost my appetite and I can't be bothered to eat anymore. I've stopped going to the gym because I've got no energy to do anything. Struggling to study pretty much everyday, can't focus at all. Also keep sleeping way more than I normally do (I sleep about 7-8 hours every night and then during the day I nap for at least 4 hours). There's no external factors at all that I can think of that could cause any of these symptoms. There is a family history of it though (both parents, though they deny it and will deny that I have it).
I've told my friends about what I'm going through and we've tried everything to make me feel better. I tried going out often and spending time with them, I talked it out but nothing I used to enjoy is enjoyable now.
I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. Basically I'm a first year medical student who is studying outside of the UK (my home country) and I intend to apply to the US in the future for residency programs.
Now, I want to clarify that I haven't been officially diagnosed with depression* but I finally got the guts to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss what's wrong with me so I'm going end of this week. BUT. I'm doubting this decision now.
If I do get officially diagnosed with it, will I have to reveal this on any application or interview that I have/had depression at some point? Same if I'm applying for UK if there's anyone who knows the process from there? I'm wondering whether I should just cancel my appointment and somehow fight it out if it means I won't get into residency programs, because I have to admit, the stigma with mental health is still there. I know it sounds really bad to think that I shouldn't get help or have it on my medical records but I don't want it to affect my chances in the future.
*I struggled to get into Medical school in the UK for about 3 years mainly due to my grades not being amazing. I got great grades (ABB), but for medical school not enough (AAA). Shockingly none of that gave me depression! But I finally got accepted outside of the UK (Sept 2016), moved to this new country and I couldn't have been happier! I made lovely friends, got a nice support network, my grades in first year medical school have been one of the best, been hitting the gym (4-5 times a week) to improve my health, going out with friends, the country is a hot with almost tropical climate (WOO because UK weather sucks) and basically this year has been the best of my life. Not felt homesick either because my parents visit every month or I go back, and I went to University for one year in the UK so I know what it's like to live away from home.
Then one day, I stopped feeling. It just happened out of nowhere. This was since the first week of May. Now everyday is like I'm wasting away. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad, I don't feel stressed, nervous (I should be because exams??), I feel absolutely nothing - no emotions. Empty. I hate eating now. I've lost my appetite and I can't be bothered to eat anymore. I've stopped going to the gym because I've got no energy to do anything. Struggling to study pretty much everyday, can't focus at all. Also keep sleeping way more than I normally do (I sleep about 7-8 hours every night and then during the day I nap for at least 4 hours). There's no external factors at all that I can think of that could cause any of these symptoms. There is a family history of it though (both parents, though they deny it and will deny that I have it).
I've told my friends about what I'm going through and we've tried everything to make me feel better. I tried going out often and spending time with them, I talked it out but nothing I used to enjoy is enjoyable now.