2018-2019 Waitlist Support Thread

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annieb_baxter said:
We apply everywhere because it’s so competitive. So maybe we have a top two but because the system is so messed up we have to apply elsewhere in order to even have a shot
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Okay but if it would destroy your life to go somewhere other than your home town, we didn't make the decision for you to do that? I understand the stakes are high for everyone (I also have a family and the thought of uprooting them was something I had to discuss very seriously with my SO) but I don't think it changes things in regards to the differences between the groups.

I believe accepted students deserve rigorous support and people to commiserate with. Don't get me wrong. People have gotten a little defensive in this thread, as if I've said they have no problems lol.

But in so many other circles we know it's strange to ask for support from those who have less than we do.
 
Y'all need to calm down. It's a support thread - to provide support for people on waitlists. Both groups are valid and both need support, so why be exclusionary? Yes, there is a difference between having an acceptance or not, but that doesn't mean that both someone with an acceptance and someone without an acceptance both deserve support - no need to put people down or dismiss their need for support just because they are in a different position than you. Nobody is saying that being on waitlists with no acceptances is the same as having one but really wanting to get off a waitlist for various personal reasons. Both need support, and if y'all aren't here to support, maybe you need to find another place to put people down or complain that there are people out there who God forbid want to get off a waitlist when they already have an acceptance (because nobody could possibly have valid reasons like family or cost or anything like that)
 
smileyfacegirl27 said:
Y'all need to calm down. It's a support thread - to provide support for people on waitlists. Both groups are valid and both need support, so why be exclusionary? Yes, there is a difference between having an acceptance or not, but that doesn't mean that both someone with an acceptance and someone without an acceptance both deserve support - no need to put people down or dismiss their need for support just because they are in a different position than you. Nobody is saying that being on waitlists with no acceptances is the same as having one but really wanting to get off a waitlist for various personal reasons. Both need support, and if y'all aren't here to support, maybe you need to find another place to put people down or complain that there are people out there who God forbid want to get off a waitlist when they already have an acceptance (because nobody could possibly have valid reasons like family or cost or anything like that)
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I do think you need to read my response again. Because I've said none of the things you've accused me of, and in fact said the opposite. And I think the tone of this post is exceedingly aggressive to the point of rudeness. But I understand where you're coming from, and I will back off. Tensions are high and there's no need to make things harder.
 
I apologize if I came off that way - it wasn't directed at you specifically , just at the current state of this thread that seems like people are saying "you don't belong here if you have an acceptance, this is our space and you need to get your own." I'm just advocating for a little more compassion on everyone's part and a place where people can be supportive and recognize that we are all coming from different places and that doesn't make it any less valid for someone to be here
smallscrapes said:
I do think you need to read my response again. Because I've said none of the things you've accused me of, and in fact said the opposite. And I think the tone of this post is exceedingly aggressive to the point of rudeness. But I understand where you're coming from, and I will back off. Tensions are high and there's no need to make things harder.
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smileyfacegirl27 said:
I apologize if I came off that way - it wasn't directed at you specifically , just at the current state of this thread that seems like people are saying "you don't belong here if you have an acceptance, this is our space and you need to get your own." I'm just advocating for a little more compassion on everyone's part and a place where people can be supportive and recognize that we are all coming from different places and that doesn't make it any less valid for someone to be here
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I don't disagree at this point! We've come really far in this cycle and there isn't any need for people to feel alone when we've come so far together. But this convo started with an earlier post advocating for two of these kinds of threads in the future (one for people with acceptances and one for those without). These groups have different kinds of issues, and different spaces seem appropriate. That's a problem for 2020 smallscrapes though
 
Can't we all just get along 🙁

I get where the "prefer top choice" people are coming from, really I do. And it sucks if you have to go to a med school that causes a life stressor such as separation from family. These people totally deserve support, and I'm with y'all on that.

Where I lose those people, however, is when they start acting like it's the same. I'm fortunate (I guess) that my only waitlist is a school that I really like, but even if my only waitlist was a horrible place for me I would still want to get off of it lol. It's better to have a suboptimal future than none at all IMO
 
smallscrapes said:
Okay but if it would destroy your life to go somewhere other than your home town, we didn't make the decision for you to do that? I understand the stakes are high for everyone (I also have a family and the thought of uprooting them was something I had to discuss very seriously with my SO) but I don't think it changes things in regards to the differences between the groups.

I believe accepted students deserve rigorous support and people to commiserate with. Don't get me wrong. People have gotten a little defensive in this thread, as if I've said they have no problems lol.

But in so many other circles we know it's strange to ask for support from those who have less than we do.
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I see what your saying. I personally only applied to schools where I knew my husband would be okay with going. Moving without him wasn’t an option for me. So I had schools I didn’t particularly love but I applied because I knew he’d be able to find a job there. So everyone’s situation is different.
 
annieb_baxter said:
I see what your saying. I personally only applied to schools where I knew my husband would be okay with going. Moving without him wasn’t an option for me. So I had schools I didn’t particularly love but I applied because I knew he’d be able to find a job there. So everyone’s situation is different.
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Haha this is exactly how I needed to choose my list too. I wish you nothing but the best! Good vibes for you and your family
 
smallscrapes said:
I really respect this group but I do think this group doesn't quite realize the gap between these two places.

1) why are you applying to places you don't actually want to go to? I've seen adcoms constantly advise against this here.

2) on one hand, you are already in a place where your dreams for your future are going to come true. On the other, there are people in this thread staring down another 6000 dollar app cycle to potentially be rejected again at the end of it and have nothing to show for it.
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Only 40% of applicants get in, including reapplicants. You apply broadly because even really competitive applicants are not guaranteed a spot anywhere. Saying you’d rather go to a school where your spouse is stationed over a school 8 hours away is not the same as saying you wouldn’t go to the school 8 hours away if it was your only choice.

As you are aware, you don’t get in everywhere you apply. If you apply all around your preferred location and only get acceptances to schools farther away, then obviously you will be praying for an acceptance of a WL even though you have an acceptance.
 
smallscrapes said:
I really respect this group but I do think this group doesn't quite realize the gap between these two places.

1) why are you applying to places you don't actually want to go to? I've seen adcoms constantly advise against this here.

2) on one hand, you are already in a place where your dreams for your future are going to come true. On the other, there are people in this thread staring down another 6000 dollar app cycle to potentially be rejected again at the end of it and have nothing to show for it.
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Again, this isn't necessarily true. Not every school is optimal to get applicants to their end goals. Saying "I want to be a physician" opens up a million possibilities of specialty, career tracks, lifestyle, etc.. The way I see it, if another applicant's grass is greener it's because they did a better job at some point along the way - be it choosing schools, grades/tests, ECs, writing essays, interviewing, updating schools, etc. Their problems are not any less valid because they got accepted, and it's perfectly okay for people to be picky as long as they put things in perspective which I'm sure everyone here is. I'm sorry you haven't gotten in and I'm disappointed that I haven't but we don't need a sob story.
 
You are absolutely free to feel the way you do. I do not agree that the problems are equivalent, but I'm not interested in playing pity party either. I've already made my peace with this thread.
 
I think our thread needs this right now!! This isn't an "us" vs "them" scenario. The process is cruel and our only hope of mentally surviving is if others rally around and support those who are feeling weak.

260995
 
smallscrapes said:
You are absolutely free to feel the way you do. I do not agree that the problems are equivalent, but I'm not interested in playing pity party either. I've already made my peace with this thread.
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Equivalent? Certainly not, I would agree that there is far more jeopardy in having to reapply than holding an acceptance that an applicant thinks is "less than ideal." However, if you were in that applicant's shoes with an acceptance do you think you might be yearning just as strongly for that ideal school you are waitlisted at? Your hierarchy of problems is logically sound, I'm simply saying that a comparative mindset is detrimental to carry into this process because then everyone starts thinking about what the person "above" them has. I wish you the best with WL movement.
 
neuro312 said:
Equivalent? Certainly not, I would agree that there is far more jeopardy in having to reapply than holding an acceptance that an applicant thinks is "less than ideal." However, if you were in that applicant's shoes with an acceptance do you think you might be yearning just as strongly for that ideal school you are waitlisted at? Your hierarchy of problems is logically sound, I'm simply saying that a comparative mindset is detrimental to carry into this process because then everyone starts thinking about what the person "above" them has. I wish you the best with WL movement.
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I can't say enough that I agree. This is probably the fourth time :laugh: I do feel like I'm speaking into the void a little bit.

I just think separate threads are a good idea for the future. That is all. The full argument.


Good luck to you too!
 
smallscrapes said:
You are absolutely free to feel the way you do. I do not agree that the problems are equivalent, but I'm not interested in playing pity party either. I've already made my peace with this thread.
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I’m confused. Are you saying you don’t see how someone could prefer reapplying to spending 4 years away from their spouse and kids, or are you saying you get that people think that way but you don’t?
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
I’m confused. Are you saying you don’t see how someone could prefer reapplying to spending 4 years away from their spouse and kids, or are you saying you get that people think that way but you don’t?
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Haha I'm saying that that SPECIFIC problem deserves its own space with other people. It is not equivalent or hierarchical with other waitlist issues, but that in the future, a thread for folks with other acceptances and one for folks without can allow people to access and provide support in a way that is meaningful and good and also doesn't generate conversations like this one.
 
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neuro312 said:
Equivalent? Certainly not, I would agree that there is far more jeopardy in having to reapply than holding an acceptance that an applicant thinks is "less than ideal." However, if you were in that applicant's shoes with an acceptance do you think you might be yearning just as strongly for that ideal school you are waitlisted at? Your hierarchy of problems is logically sound, I'm simply saying that a comparative mindset is detrimental to carry into this process because then everyone starts thinking about what the person "above" them has. I wish you the best with WL movement.
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I actually disagree. I am fortunate enough not to be in this situation, but I would rather reapply than have to go to school and be separated from my wife and kids for 4 years. I’ve spent enough time away from them already.
 
Before anyone else responds to me: please read everything I've said! People are approaching me like some kind of a) ***** or b) person with no compassion. I have repeatedly stated my position AND my willingness to be done with this convo in a public sphere. I'm happy to continue conversations in the DMs with folks who want to yell at me haha! I want to return this thread to its positive roots now
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
I actually disagree. I am fortunate enough not to be in this situation, but I would rather reapply than have to go to school and be separated from my wife and kids for 4 years. I’ve spent enough time away from them already.
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That is fair. Again, I don't want to generalize too much because like you said everyone's situation is different. I'm a "traditional" college senior so I was admittedly not considering those kinds of circumstances when making my statement. I hope things work out for you.
 
waitlist: claims to be unranked
waitlist: accepts students from WL on 5/1

i thought the committee had to "meet" and "discuss on an individual basis" and "choose students based on class composition"

am i bitter? yes. will i be immediately not bitter the second i get in? also yes.
 
Haven't seen anyone waitlisted with an acceptance suggest that it's the same as being waitlisted without an acceptance. But maybe I missed something. If there were two WL threads, I'd be inclined to check both!
Good luck to everyone today!
 
neuro312 said:
That is fair. Again, I don't want to generalize too much because like you said everyone's situation is different. I'm a "traditional" college senior so I was admittedly not considering those kinds of circumstances when making my statement. I hope things work out for you.
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Oh yeah, I'm good. I'm fortunate that my family could have come with me wherever. I just know people who are in that situation, and it seems super ****ty.

But I also understand how being waitlisted and not having an acceptance at all is also super ****ty and might make you feel a little jaded about someone complaining about their acceptance. Everyone's different, and this thread is about support. So let's ****ing support each other.
 
nrs2doc said:
Wow! I understand your frustration for your "well qualified" friends who are not accepted, but to insinuate that URMs are not well qualified and get into med school due to "minority status" shows your bias ... I hope you realize the danger of such bias as you work to become a physician who might have to care for those you seem to have little regards for their contribution in medicine.
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Not taking sides but affirmative action can be a politically sensitive topic and we don’t need to go there with this thread right now.

Let’s just talk about things that pertain to waitlists.
 
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neuro312 said:
Not taking sides but affirmative action can be a politically sensitive topic and we don’t need to go there with this thread right now.

Let’s just talk about things that pertain to waitlists.
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Agreed. Keep the thread on topic. URM/ORM politics are off topic.
 
:diebanana:

I wish we would stop having these ridiculous discussions and stick to being a support thread. Everyone's so heavily opinionated. Sometimes it good to read and move on to more constructive things. No need to reply to every comment, particularly destructive ones- and you know which ones will lead to the land of nowhere. (rolls eyes)
 
Reyluvbry said:
I never said they weren’t qualified. I just said being ORM makes it harder. I understand the importance of having people URM. 100% and I don’t have a problem with it. I’m just merely saying it’s hard when you’re ORM and everyone including physicians I’ve talked to agree
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I will not say it again. ORM/URM posts are off-topic and will not be permitted on this thread. If it continues, the posts will be deleted and warnings will be given.
 
Just let people talk about whatever they wanna talk about... if you don't wanna be a part of it then don't be... damn people are so tightly wound up chill out family
 
aspiringdoc2122 said:
Just let people talk about whatever they wanna talk about... if you don't wanna be a part of it then don't be... damn people are so tightly wound up chill out family
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This forum has a TOS, and one of those terms is not derailing threads with off-topic posts. This thread is not about affirmative action or URM status, and so posts about that are derailing and will not be permitted. There are plenty of threads on that topic. This thread is about supporting the people who are waiting for waitlist movement, and I would like to keep it that way.

It's Friday, but it's still early. Plenty of time for WL movement!
 
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