So I have significant hearing loss, and I've always been proud of who I was because of it. I know I have an accent and sometimes it's hard to understand me because of it-especially my R's. But I mean, you can ask some of the people who have heard my voice before (other people on the Watering Hole) and in general, it's not hard to understand me at all!
But I went to a burrito place today and I said "can I get a burrito?" And he didn't understand me. I repeated it, trying to pronunciation more clearly, and he still didn't understand. Meanwhile, a long line is forming behind me. He goes "I'm sorry, I need to go find someone who can understand". He brings back like 3 people and I'm trying to pronounce that I'd like a burrito and they're all standing around, unable to figure it out, so I said "you know, tortilla with meat and other things in it?" "OOOOHHHH you mean a BURRITO? Okay! Why didn't you say that in the first place?". And it took everything in me not to cry in the middle of the restaurant.
I did 9 years of speech therapy, and I'm super proud of all the progress I've made. But it feels like a stab in the heart every time someone can't understand me. I've had people in the medical field and other pre-vetties tell me that I can't be a doctor with my thick accent, or that I especially couldn't be a surgeon. It just hurts.
And this isn't a "I hate being Deaf" rant. I'm very proud of who I am- I'm a badass biochemist, I do amazing research that goes to exciting symposiums! I'm a professional drummer, I'm going to be going to vet school in the Fall! I love who I am, it's just tiring to constantly explain that no, I'm not from anywhere foreign, no I'm not British, I'm from Dallas, Texas! I've had people ask *why* I'm Deaf, or if they could test that I'm deaf. Last year, I had someone that I had never met before ask if they can whisper in my deaf ear/ touch the inside of my ear to see why I'm Deaf (she got nowhere near my ear btw). I guess I'm just tired of explaining it, and I know that I'm gonna have to explain it to future employers and clients and significant others and my Alzheimer's grandparents and random people in random restaurants. I'm just tired of this.