Yes, do not send official transcripts, just send the grades. You can do a screen print of your unofficial transcript and email that to them.
I wouldn't consider such action in your second edit to be arrogant, silly, or stupid (unless you used a tone that was), but I don't think it's all that tactful. If you were to try and push them to an answer, the easiest answer for them to give is "no". Two plane tickets will cost *relatively* the same whether or not you go at once or separate, though you may save money on one night of lodging. That being the only tangible benefit, I wouldn't push the committee for it.
Now, if one of you gets an ACCEPTANCE and the other ends up waitlisted, you MIGHT consider advertising yourselves as a package deal. Of course your tone is "I'm very sorry and by no means intend to apply pressure, but I can't separate from my spouse for 4 years, etc... what we can we do to make this a possibility, etc..."