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Discover Your Odds of Getting into Medical School
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Catalystik said:
If you've been on SDN for years, you've probably noticed that there are better subforums to ask for relationship advice, like here: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/forums/spouses-and-partners.29/
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I'm sorry, I actually didn't know about the sub forums :/ I've only ever been on the main Pre-med and MCAT forums on SDN. I figured this might go here, because of the MCAT part but I wasn't sure.
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riya.rhino said:
I'm sorry, I actually didn't know about the sub forums :/ I've only ever been on the main Pre-med and MCAT forums on SDN. I figured this might go here, because of the MCAT part but I wasn't sure.
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There's another area, too, called The Lounge, but new members can't enter it until they have (I think) 100 posts.
 
jpvn2015 said:
You'll eventually have to tell him the truth at some point. Even though he calms you down for your MCAT studying, I suggest you tell him sooner rather than later. Though he may be irritated and never speak to you again if at all possible, there is always that chance that he will be understanding. If this is the case, you may be able to go on a few dates with him, which will make you even happier and can help you in your MCAT preparation. It's certainly risky, but as an aspiring physician, you should know the importance of telling the truth.
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I know :( Do you think I will have to tell him who I am? Or can I just say I lied about who I am and understand he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore and leave it at that? I think any normal person would ignore me completely instead of being understanding…and I don't want to feel hated throughout these last few weeks before my test.
 
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riya.rhino said:
I know :( Do you think I will have to tell him who I am? Or can I just say I lied about who I am and understand he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore and leave it at that? I think any normal person would ignore me completely instead of being understanding…and I don't want to feel hated throughout these last few weeks before my test.
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I think you should tell him who you are. Personally, if I liked talking to a girl and realized she faked her identity because she was interested in me, I'd probably be flattered. Given the situation, however, it could certainly be a little bit awkward. If he finds you attractive and likes talking to you though, I highly doubt he would completely ignore you.
 
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Imo. You should tell him and let him decide how it goes.

He may very well think you is cray and stay away from you, so also make sure you are mature enough to not fall apart if he does turn you down. Don't allow a boy to ruin a career making exam, but also stop catfishing him (and it's kind of selfish to continue leading a guy on just so you don't need to deal with the aftermath)
 
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Reported.

Write to Dear Abby.


riya.rhino said:
This is my first post on SDN, but I've been reading these forums for years. Recently, I've been caught up in something a bit crazy and thought maybe SDN can help me. I'll try to make it brief:

I've liked a guy for a while now, and all through last semester, I've been trying to find ways to talk to him. He knows me like a colleague, but never really took the chance to know me as a friend. We didn't have any classes together, so I guess that made it harder to find opportunities to meet :/

I'm also pretty shy when it comes to "making a move" so nothing ever materialized, although I'm pretty sure he must have noticed me hyperventilating around him. After watching my plight, my friend thought it would be fun to prank text him to see if he liked anyone and just get him talking. She texted him as a fake-name student in a class he TAed for, and later asked him if he wanted to hang out. To our surprise, he showed interest and started talking. I've been texting him for a week now and never knew he could be so much fun to talk to. He keeps flirting with me and saying how much he really likes talking to me. He wants to hang out and says he wishes he had met me earlier.

It makes me feel good because I'm being the 'real me' (as in showcasing my personality) when I talk to him, and he likes that. However, he obv doesn't know it's me…he still thinks I'm a student with a different name. I didn't lie to him anymore after that, but I can't keep deceiving him like this. If only I had texted him like this as the real me when we first met! :(

At the same time, I'm sure he will stop talking to me if I tell him I lied. And I don't want that to happen. I'm taking my MCAT in 3 weeks, and it's weird, but talking to him calms me down lol I guess it kinda helps relieve my stress idk. I feel all jumpy when I don't talk to him that day and I always look forward to his texts. I might be overreacting, but I'm worried ending this game abruptly will affect my MCAT studying. I want to eventually tell him the truth, but should I wait until after my test is over? :unsure:

So there it is. I feel terrible and desperate. I honestly didn't think it would get this far after my friend texted him randomly for fun. But it did, and now I feel a little dependent on talking to him. I wish I could say his texts were so bad it made me get over him, but on the contrary, I'm starting to like him even more.

What do I do??
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Good Lord, just talk to him. No more weird texting/IMing/emailing/getting your friend to talk to him for you, as I presume you're not in middle school. Explain what happened and that you like him. Presto, a solution.
 
Trust is the foundation to a healthy relationship and you don't seem to be mature enough for one of those. Take responsibility, come clean and learn from the experience no matter the outcome.
 
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Merging with social thread. Pre-allo is for topics pertaining to pre-med and application to medical school. It is not for relationship advice.
 
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riya.rhino said:
This is my first post on SDN, but I've been reading these forums for years. Recently, I've been caught up in something a bit crazy and thought maybe SDN can help me. I'll try to make it brief:

I've liked a guy for a while now, and all through last semester, I've been trying to find ways to talk to him. He knows me like a colleague, but never really took the chance to know me as a friend. We didn't have any classes together, so I guess that made it harder to find opportunities to meet :/

I'm also pretty shy when it comes to "making a move" so nothing ever materialized, although I'm pretty sure he must have noticed me hyperventilating around him. After watching my plight, my friend thought it would be fun to prank text him to see if he liked anyone and just get him talking. She texted him as a fake-name student in a class he TAed for, and later asked him if he wanted to hang out. To our surprise, he showed interest and started talking. I've been texting him for a week now and never knew he could be so much fun to talk to. He keeps flirting with me and saying how much he really likes talking to me. He wants to hang out and says he wishes he had met me earlier.

It makes me feel good because I'm being the 'real me' (as in showcasing my personality) when I talk to him, and he likes that. However, he obv doesn't know it's me…he still thinks I'm a student with a different name. I didn't lie to him anymore after that, but I can't keep deceiving him like this. If only I had texted him like this as the real me when we first met! :(

At the same time, I'm sure he will stop talking to me if I tell him I lied. And I don't want that to happen. I'm taking my MCAT in 3 weeks, and it's weird, but talking to him calms me down lol I guess it kinda helps relieve my stress idk. I feel all jumpy when I don't talk to him that day and I always look forward to his texts. I might be overreacting, but I'm worried ending this game abruptly will affect my MCAT studying. I want to eventually tell him the truth, but should I wait until after my test is over? :unsure:

So there it is. I feel terrible and desperate. I honestly didn't think it would get this far after my friend texted him randomly for fun. But it did, and now I feel a little dependent on talking to him. I wish I could say his texts were so bad it made me get over him, but on the contrary, I'm starting to like him even more.

What do I do??
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What did I just read? Tell him who you are and just admit to being super shy.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
Catalystik said:
Yeah, there's a reason why noobs aren't allowed in. Thank goodness.

But I hadn't thought of this social thread as an appropriate venue for relationship questions, so I've learned something new.
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The social thread is the dumping ground for any non-political threads that aren't also on-topic for pre-allo.
 
klay-on-fire.jpg
 
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Gibbward said:
I was dying in that 4th quarter. I'm so happy OKC got really sloppy with the ball and rushed their shots. Just five more!
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Fixed ;)

Omg, I was dying throughout the entire game!! I don't think I even celebrated a shot until Steph hit a 3 to tie it at 99 lol.

Gotta bring that energy to Game 7 and beyond!! #StrengthInNumbers
 
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JustAPhD said:
God I feel like I just read a middle schooler's diary. Just talk to the kid in person.
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Mad Jack said:
There's literally no way out of the situation aside from telling the truth. Didn't you watch Aladdin as a kid?
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jpvn2015 said:
I think you should tell him who you are. Personally, if I liked talking to a girl and realized she faked her identity because she was interested in me, I'd probably be flattered. Given the situation, however, it could certainly be a little bit awkward. If he finds you attractive and likes talking to you though, I highly doubt he would completely ignore you.
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Mansamusa said:
Imo. You should tell him and let him decide how it goes.

He may very well think you is cray and stay away from you, so also make sure you are mature enough to not fall apart if he does turn you down. Don't allow a boy to ruin a career making exam, but also stop catfishing him (and it's kind of selfish to continue leading a guy on just so you don't need to deal with the aftermath)
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Goro said:
Reported.

Write to Dear Abby.
Click to expand...

mouster said:
Good Lord, just talk to him. No more weird texting/IMing/emailing/getting your friend to talk to him for you, as I presume you're not in middle school. Explain what happened and that you like him. Presto, a solution.
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Syns said:
Trust is the foundation to a healthy relationship and you don't seem to be mature enough for one of those. Take responsibility, come clean and learn from the experience no matter the outcome.
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fancymylotus said:
What did I just read? Tell him who you are and just admit to being super shy.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
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Okay, I told him I lied and I sincerely apologized for it. I wanted to tell him who I was, but he didn't give me that chance. In the end, I'm glad I didn't. I realized that this is not a guy you want to mess with. He basically told me to never ever text him again and gave me a lecture on how lying is bad. He felt played and disappointed…he said he really wanted to hang out with me, but now he can't overlook what I did. So basically no second chances, and no forgiving. He told me how he felt like a bloody bandage that I should rip off immediately. Then, he blocked me.

Tbh, it broke my heart a bit. I'm pretty sensitive, so his words brought me to tears. I understand what I did was wrong, but it's not like I'd been talking to him for months as a fake persona. It's only been 3 days. He knew he had never met me (I was a random person!) so I don't understand why he kept talking and flirting with me.

And I did try many times to directly ask him in person if he wanted to hang out. But every time I attempted to start a convo, he would always act like he was annoyed and disinterested with me. He wouldn't make eye contact, or smile back when I smiled, or continue the conversation. I actually even texted him once saying I liked him and wanted to tell him who I was, but he cut me off and said he didn't want to know. Then, he blocked me again. So, honestly, it's not like I didn't try all the mature options first lol he never gave me a chance to showcase my personality. I had pretty much given up trying to get to know him, until my friend started this prank. It was a mistake, and I'll never listen to her advice again. But I wish he hadn't been so unforgiving :cryi:
 
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riya.rhino said:
Okay, I told him I lied and I sincerely apologized for it. I wanted to tell him who I was, but he didn't give me that chance. In the end, I'm glad I didn't. I realized that this is not a guy you want to mess with. He basically told me to never ever text him again and gave me a lecture on how lying is bad. He felt played and disappointed…he said he really wanted to hang out with me, but now he can't overlook what I did. So basically no second chances, and no forgiving. He told me how he felt like a bloody bandage that I should rip off immediately. Then, he blocked me.

Tbh, it broke my heart a bit. I'm pretty sensitive, so his words brought me to tears. I understand what I did was wrong, but it's not like I'd been talking to him for months as a fake persona. It's only been 3 days. He knew he had never met me (I was a random person!) so I don't understand why he kept talking and flirting with me.

And I did try many times to directly ask him in person if he wanted to hang out. But every time I attempted to start a convo, he would always act like he was annoyed and disinterested with me. He wouldn't make eye contact, or smile back when I smiled, or continue the conversation. I actually even texted him once saying I liked him and wanted to tell him who I was, but he cut me off and said he didn't want to know. Then, he blocked me again. So, honestly, it's not like I didn't try all the mature options first lol he never gave me a chance to showcase my personality. I had pretty much given up trying to get to know him, until my friend started this prank. It was a mistake, and I'll never listen to her advice again. But I wish he hadn't been so unforgiving :cryi:
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Sounds like everything worked out as it should. More time would have made things worse. Sounds like there's a decent lack of maturity all around in the situation though, so there was no way this was going good places. And I'm not saying that to be insulting, I'm saying that in an honest-to-god you'll be looking back on this ten years from now and be wondering what you were thinking sort of thing. It's actually kind of funny, almost everyone has moments like that that will just sneak up and pop into their heads from years prior, leaving you dumbfounded at your former self. So we've all been there. You live and you learn. That's life.
 
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Mad Jack said:
Sounds like everything worked out as it should. More time would have made things worse. Sounds like there's a decent lack of maturity all around in the situation though, so there was no way this was going good places. And I'm not saying that to be insulting, I'm saying that in an honest-to-god you'll be looking back on this ten years from now and be wondering what you were thinking sort of thing. It's actually kind of funny, almost everyone has moments like that that will just sneak up and pop into their heads from years prior, leaving you dumbfounded at your former self. So we've all been there. You live and you learn. That's life.
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I know :( it was very immature, and I'm pretty surprised and disappointed in myself as well. I promise you I'm not a bad person! I'm not usually a liar. I feel sad that people think of me that way. Recent events have left me feeling very lonely and stressed, so I think I went ahead with this prank because it served as a welcome distraction to keep my mind off my troubles. It wasn't meant to be something serious and insulting…I just wanted to talk for fun and get to know the guy! But yes, I'm glad I ended it within 3 days.

Now, I'll try to take my mind of this stupid incident and focus on my June 18 MCAT!
 
riya.rhino said:
I know :( it was very immature, and I'm pretty surprised and disappointed in myself as well. I promise you I'm not a bad person! I'm not usually a liar. I feel sad that people think of me that way. Recent events have left me feeling very lonely and stressed, so I think I went ahead with this prank because it served as a welcome distraction to keep my mind off my troubles. It wasn't meant to be something serious and insulting…I just wanted to talk for fun and get to know the guy! But yes, I'm glad I ended it within 3 days.

Now, I'll try to take my mind of this stupid incident and focus on my June 18 MCAT!
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No one here thinks you're a bad person. Like I said, we've all done objectively stupid things at various points in our lives. That's all a part of life. Now good luck on your MCAT, you can do it! There's literally three billion other guys out there in the world, plenty of time to worry about that later lol.
 
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Wow this was all over a three day span? I think he overreacted a bit, but he was right you shouldn't have lied.

Now you know not to do that again, valuable lesson learned. Now go back to studying for that pesky MCAT.
 
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i wouldn't be surprised if he reaches out to you in the near future. He may just need a little time to settle down.

Anyway, good luck with the MCAT!
 
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Cyberdyne 101 said:
i wouldn't be surprised if he reaches out to you in the near future. He may just need a little time to settle down.

Anyway, good luck with the MCAT!
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Lol he won't. I'm sure of it now…he kinda scared me. It's like he hates any girl who crushes on him. Yesterday's convo made me realize that he's very moralistic and does not tolerate mistakes. I agree my approach was foolish and silly, but I didn't think what I did was that bad. I wish he had been a bit more light-hearted about the whole thing, but I ended up feeling like a guilty prisoner. I basically chose the wrong guy to fool around with haha

Anyway, thanks! I'm going to get back into study mode.
 
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JustAPhD said:
Wow this was all over a three day span? I think he overreacted a bit, but he was right you shouldn't have lied.

Now you know not to do that again, valuable lesson learned. Now go back to studying for that pesky MCAT.
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Yes, it was only 3 days. I wasn't ever going to extend it beyond that. I was feeling guilty from day one, but it was just so much fun talking to him that I continued it a bit.

Yeah, MCAT stress is getting to me. Maybe my anger at this whole situation will actually motivate me :p I'm going to shut off all my phones and thoughts of boys and focus on slaying this beast.
 
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Mad Jack said:
No one here thinks you're a bad person. Like I said, we've all done objectively stupid things at various points in our lives. That's all a part of life. Now good luck on your MCAT, you can do it! There's literally three billion other guys out there in the world, plenty of time to worry about that later lol.
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Thank you! Yeah, time to really focus on the MCAT and get my apps submitted. I'll worry about guys later and you're right, I'll probably be laughing about this whole thing in the future. I can add it to the list of silly, crazy things I've done :rolleyes:
 
riya.rhino said:
Lol he won't. I'm sure of it now…he kinda scared me. It's like he hates any girl who crushes on him. Yesterday's convo made me realize that he's very moralistic and does not tolerate mistakes. I agree my approach was foolish and silly, but I didn't think what I did was that bad. I wish he had been a bit more light-hearted about the whole thing, but I ended up feeling like a guilty prisoner. I basically chose the wrong guy to fool around with haha

Anyway, thanks! I'm going to get back into study mode.
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You never know. Perhaps yesterday's convo will compel him to reconsider his overly moralistic and standoffish ways. People do change.

Regardless, enjoy the rest of your weekend!
 
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Cyberdyne 101 said:
You never know. Perhaps yesterday's convo will compel him to reconsider his overly moralistic and standoffish ways. People do change.

Regardless, enjoy the rest of your weekend!
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Hahaha perhaps, but I actually ended up permanently deactivating the number I used to text him. I realized that even if he liked me back, this would never be able to work out. I'm kind of forbidden to date this guy anyway :unsure: if we really did get involved and I got too attached to him (like I was), that would have been disastrous for my mental health. Plus, my family would probably disown me, no joke. So, I hope I made the right decision by making it impossible for him to contact me. It hurts, but I'm glad he didn't take it further.

Thanks again for your input though! I hope you enjoy your week as well :)
 
riya.rhino said:
Hahaha perhaps, but I actually ended up permanently deactivating the number I used to text him. I realized that even if he liked me back, this would never be able to work out. I'm kind of forbidden to date this guy anyway :unsure: if we really did get involved and I got too attached to him (like I was), that would have been disastrous for my mental health. Plus, my family would probably disown me, no joke. So, I hope I made the right decision by making it impossible for him to contact me. It hurts, but I'm glad he didn't take it further.

Thanks again for your input though! I hope you enjoy your week as well :)
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Forbidden? Disownage? Why?


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fancymylotus said:
Forbidden? Disownage? Why?


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Lawper said:
Ya also curious about this.
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Lol well I can try to explain, but I'm warning you, it might seem weird to most people here. So, I'm not sure if you guys would understand haha but basically, I'm Indian from a traditional family. I'm not even allowed to date Indian guys! And unfortunately, the guy I like is an Arab Muslim also (I think) from a traditional family. That itself should explain a lot :( But to make things even more complicated, he's from Saudi on a sponsorship and according to his strict govt rules, he can't ever date/marry a foreigner during his time here. If he did and was caught, he would be sent back. If he didn't, he's required to go back afterwards anyways. His entire family still lives in Saudi, and all his relatives study here and go back, so I'm like 98% sure he's going to leave for good.

I feel like all the stuff I just mentioned was why I hesitated so much in the first place. I'm not a type for flings…when I like someone, I feel it completely. I'm not some model, but I think I'm attractive enough and fun to be with. So, I feel he would have liked me back, esp based on the convos we had over text. If he forgave me, and we got involved, I'd be swept away. I have a huge crush on him. He's extremely charming and hard to stay away from ;)

Realistically speaking though, if it became serious, I'd have to convert religions, leave my family behind, forget med school, and suffer the social stigma that comes from a loss of honor within Indian society. Knowing me, I fear that I would do all those things. And that's where the disownage part comes in.

Hence, the reason why I'm trying to nip it in the bud now. I'm probably overreacting, but if there's no hope for a future, there's no point right? Plus, I don't know what his intentions are. If he was just looking for a fling, and left me afterwards, I wouldn't be strong enough to take it. Believe me, I'd LOVE to go out with him, but it's not a good idea.

I know it's complicated and probably sounds silly, but that's why :rolleyes:


ALSO can you guys PLEASE NOT QUOTE this. I need to delete it afterwards. Too much identifying info!
 
@riya.rhino I'm an Indian girl from a pretty strict/traditional family that is engaged to an Algerian/Muslim guy, my parents were incredibly hard on me when I was younger and as soon as I finished professional school, they relaxed a LOT. I guess because I finally proved myself or something. Thankfully my fiances family is wonderful and has no misconceptions over the fact that I will never concert, and am actually way more of a practicing Hindu than they are practicing Muslims.

Then again if a stipulation to be with him was to convert, I would have ran the other way as fast as possible.




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guy sounds like a dick & an idiot

the healthy response from a guy his age would have been to forgive you, because if you went to all this trouble the chances of getting laid are pretty high
I kid, I kid (but really this would be the typical thinking)

you're better off believe me

OP I'm like you in some ways, and while I really value my Judeo-Christian heritage upbringing and values,
the one thing I regret not being better at is moving on
just learning to love 'em and leave 'em as soon as it goes too wrong, and not to feel too tore up about it

also, **** parents
they brought you into the world but that doesn't mean they should hold the mortgage on all of your future happiness for the next 60+ years, for most that happiness is career & the family you create with a spouse
the two biggest investments in your future, that will affect all your waking hours all your waking days from this moment on

NEVER let them push you too hard on career choice or partner choice
parents being parents always have some wisdom worth listening to

they say they want you to be "happy" but they're just repeating the same parenting practices done to them
you are not an extension of them, to do what would make them happy

check out Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families and break the cycle
 
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Though I do feel like if you are going to be dependent or reliant on your parents past a certain age you sort of can't just tell them to **** off.

Had my parents told me I couldn't marry my fiancé just because of the religion he was brought up in and no other reason, we would have had a huge issue


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Crayola227 said:
guy sounds like a dick & an idiot
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He's a dick and an idiot for not wanting a girl that was too immature to just come straight out and say she was interested in him, instead hiding behind a guise? Sorry if people don't play high school games in college.

the healthy response from a guy his age would have been to forgive you, because if you went to all this trouble the chances of getting laid are pretty high
I kid, I kid (but really this would be the typical thinking)
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If he was a dick and an idiot, he would do this.
 
It was either during winter break M1 or like never have another chance until I'm a resident or even attending. I chose life.
 
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#IStandWithHateSpeech is trending on twitter with over 50K tweets.

...Did I miss something???
 
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