Because there's nowhere in my real life I can vent about this...
I have this bad habit of acquiring horses. Only one at a time, and I never pay for them. I have good friends that let me use a stall and only pay for feed so the housing is not all that expensive for me. My first horse was given to me by a good friend, he was amazing, and he never should have died but he had some random problem with his liver that we never managed to fix in spite of much vet bills. My second horse I took from someone I thought I could trust, but when I got her instead of the healthy horse I had known and was told she still was, I got a bag of bones. Couldn't fix her in spite of much money spent on veterinary bills, put her down.
So I was in the market for a project horse, just spend a couple thousand, have something decent to ride around the pasture on for the next 18 months and then sell it if I get into vet school. So why did I fall prey to the pleas of my best friend (<- there is the problem, it's the person who was pleading) to take a horse from her barn with a suspensory injury and give him more time off to see if he can become sound? Why would I do that? I said "nothing sick, nothing lame, nothing a rescue." And I signed a bill of sale for a lame horse once again. And I spent money on another lameness exam/ultrasound to see what we're looking at. But I work at the clinic so it's not as big an expense this time.
So clearly I have a problem. A mental problem. One that involves extremely large, expensive animals. One that will only get worse once I am a vet, I'm sure.
To update on Lion Horse:
So after a month of stall rest in which he attempted to destroy the stall, I got to move him outside to a 30x30 pen and start walking him under saddle. I was not stupid about assessing the situation as far as getting on his back. He was not crazy on his hand walks, he didn't go wild being in his pen, so I thought "This will go fine."
And I saddled up.
And before I even got my foot in the off side stirrup he took off bucking. Without having stirrups or even being settled in the saddle it's difficult to stay on a bucking horse. And he threw me harder than I have ever been thrown. As I sat up I got to watch my horse go trotting off on five acres on his broken legs.
As you can imagine, he wasn't exactly an endearing animal with the tearing apart the stall nonsense before this. This incident didn't help his case. Thankfully he's turned out to be moderately lazy so his walking under saddle has been mostly fine since then. I haven't dragged him up to the clinic for a recheck yet, but hopefully he's on the road to healing. It's been almost 3 months so it's about time.
Did I mention he has a passport? My broken horse is more prepared to travel than I am.